"Page Six"
Gets Extremely
Personal.
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Brad Pitt is reportedly getting irritated by a sound Angelina Jolie sometimes makes when she chews food ... Cuba Gooding Jr. has stopped following college basketball ... Lucy Liu is lukewarm about this season's Tuesday-night prime-time offerings ... My friend Tony isn't a fan of calamari, it was revealed on Saturday at our local Olive Garden ... Tobey Maguire still occasionally thinks about his second-grade tormentor Jason Higgins ... Sarah Jessica Parker prefers October weather to September weather ... John Goodman can do that thing where you whistle by putting your fingers in your mouth ... Ryan Seacrest suspects he may have mild lactose intolerance ... Lara Flynn Boyle recently Googled "Boyle Irish ancestry" ... Robert De Niro's iPod Classic is freezing every few days ... Patrick Dempsey has a hankering for PB&J with the crusts cut off, just like his mom, Amanda, used to do—paging Dr. Freud! ... Sally Field really, really likes Origins Oatmeal Facial Scrub ... Joy Behar used to be able to do a great Nixon impression, can't really anymore ... Leonardo DiCaprio has been having nightmares about a three-headed dragon that breathes pink flames ... Laurence Fishburne prefers one of his goldfish over the other two ... Craig Kilborn just got his car washed ... Eva Longoria Parker is having trouble with her upgrade to Windows Vista ... You will die a hollow, friendless death ... Pete Sampras can't wait for this weekend ...
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Teddy Wayne's
Other Pieces.
- - - -
OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:
- - - -
"Page Six" Gets Extremely Personal By Teddy Wayne
Selected Entries From The Encyclopedia of the 21st-Century American By Chuck Adams
You've Got to Watch The Wire By Scott Blaszak
Health Inspector's Report: Burger Time Restaurant and Fun Zone By Andrew Bridgman
Greeted at the Door By Ben Greenman
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