The deadline for the 2008 Amanda Davis Highwire Fiction Award, a $2,500 grant given to a woman writer of 32 years or younger, is this Thursday, May 15. For more information, click here. - - - -

"I Spy" in Hell. BY ADRIAN CHEN - - - - BEAST: I spy with my little eye, something ... red. FALSE PROPHET: Let's see ... is it the lake of fire and brimstone? BEAST: Yes. - - - - BEAST: I spy with my little eye, something ... red. FALSE PROPHET: Is it the lake of fire? BEAST: No. FALSE PROPHET: Is it my shirt? BEAST: No. FALSE PROPHET: Wow, this one's hard. BEAST: Oh, wait. It actually was the lake of fire. - - - - BEAST: I spy with my little eye, something ... red. FALSE PROPHET: The lake of fire! BEAST: No. FALSE PROPHET: The fire in your hair? BEAST: No. FALSE PROPHET: The fire burning your eyeballs? BEAST: No. FALSE PROPHET: The fire burning my eyeballs? BEAST: No. FALSE PROPHET: Jeez, I give up. BEAST: It's fire. FALSE PROPHET: Like fire in general? BEAST: Yeah. Just ... all the fire, everywhere. FALSE PROPHET: Oh. Good one. - - - - BEAST: I spy with my little eye, something ... orange. FALSE PROPHET: Orange? BEAST: Yes, orange. FALSE PROPHET: Is it an orange? BEAST: No. FALSE PROPHET: The lake of fire? BEAST: Close, but no. FALSE PROPHET: Is it just the orange part of the lake of fire? BEAST: Yes. FALSE PROPHET: !!! - - - - OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES: - - - - "I Spy" in Hell By Adrian Chen The Focus Group's Transcript for My Prospective Garage Sale By S. Craig Renfroe Jr. Midlife-Crisis Bible Stories By Susan Schorn Eric Clapton's Censored Song List in North Korea By Lionel Beehner Eleven Grievances By James A.W. Shaw

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL