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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!

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(IM)AGNA CARTA. BY JASON RHODE - - - - <IOHANNESRex has invited BAR0|\|z1215 to the "Runnymede" chatroom> IOHANNESRex: HEY BAR0|\|z1215: EM? IOHANNESRex: --- I @m /\w4Y, FIGhTiNg the FrEnCH! ill brb --- BAR0|\|z1215: WTF IOHANNESRex: --- I @m /\w4Y, FIGhTiNg the FrEnCH! ill brb --- BAR0|\|z1215: BTDT IOHANNESRex: HEY whos this IOHANNESRex: asl? BAR0|\|z1215: umm BAR0|\|z1215: ru gay d00d <IOHANNESRex has warned BAR0|\|z1215> IOHANNESRex: LOLLL!!!! IOHANNESRex: chek out my facebook, im under chad divineright ... its a faker!!! BAR0|\|z1215: k BAR0|\|z1215: hey so wut happened to ur band?? IOHANNESRex: Lakkland broke up ... thot ud heard IOHANNESRex: my new bands calld softswordd were gonna be emo LMAO BAR0|\|z1215: ... god ur gay IOHANNES Rex: shit IOHANNESRex: mom IOHANNESRex: brb BAR0|\|z1215: k IOHANNESRex: closecall it wuz the chruch IOHANNESRex: 3{:-[)> <---thats my cRoWn BAR0|\|z1215: ... I hv HMWRK!!!1111 IOHANNESRex: hey so tht mnz kan i borrow sum $$$$ IOHANNESRex: [E<D BAR0|\|z1215: NW U nvr pay me back IOHANNESRex: I tryn 2 level my char 4 10p a week srsrlly ok BAR0|\|z1215: alrite but u hv 2 me a fvr k? BAR0|\|z1215: or else no IOHANNESRex: cmon IOHANNESRex: pleeeeeease IOHANNESRex: k <BAR0|\|z1215 is trying to send IOHANNESRex a File "magnacarta.parchment"> IOHANNESRex: got it IOHANNESRex: WTF???!! WTF???! IOHANNESRex: im confused wut lol BAR0|\|z1215: gimme a sec im invitin sUm peepz IOHANNESRex: S000 tihs is a zine? <William d'Albini has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Roger Bigod, Earl of Norfolk and Suffolk, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Hugh Bigod, heir to the earldoms of Norfolk and Suffolk, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Henry de Bohun, Earl of Hereford, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Richard de Clare, Earl of Hertford, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Gilbert de Clare, heir to the earldom of Hertford, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <John FitzRobert, Lord of Warkworth Castle, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> <Robert Fitzwalter, Lord of Dunmow Castle, has joined "Runnymede" chatroom> BAR0|\|z1215: sgn it kplzthx IOHANNESRex: no way mofosz <BAR0|\|z1215 has warned IOHANNESRex> <Robert Fitzwalter, Lord of Dunmow Castle, has warned IOHANNESRex> <John FitzRobert, Lord of Warkworth Castle, has warned IOHANNESRex> <Gilbert de Clare, heir to the earldom of Hertford, has warned IOHANNESRex> <Richard de Clare, Earl of Hertford, has warned IOHANNESRex> <Henry de Bohun, Earl of Hereford, has warned IOHANNESRex> <Hugh Bigod, heir to the earldoms of Norfolk and Suffolk, has warned IOHANNESRex> <Roger Bigod, Earl of Norfolk and Suffolk, has warned IOHANNESRex> <William d'Albini has warned IOHANNESRex> IOHANNESRex: Concesserimus libertates quasdam scriptas in Magna Carta nostra de libertatibus. Data per manum nostram. BAR0|\|z1215: ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! IOHANNESRex: man fukk u guyz - - - - OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES: - - - - (IM)agna Carta By Jason Rhode The Plight of the Suburban Deer By G. Xavier Robillard Fragments From Polygamy! The Musical By Ben Greenman First Drafts of the Parables of Jesus By A.J. Packman John McCain Gives It to Me Straight By Ellie Kemper

- - - - MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES Memories of Amanda Davis Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD NEW WHOLPHIN FILM TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL DISPATCHES FROM INDIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO, DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN EXCERPTS FROM THE PANORAMA SOLUTIONS TO BENJAMIN TAUSIG'S THREE-DEMENSIONAL CROSSWORD PUZZLE IN THE SAN FRANCISCO PANORAMA ABOUT A VERY BAD WIZARD ABOUT THE WILD THINGS ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT ABOUT FEVER CHART ABOUT GOD SAYS NO ABOUT ZEITOUN - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL