SENTENCES THAT,
IF USED BY JUDGES
IN A SPELLING BEE,
WOULD PROVE
TOTALLY UNHELPFUL
TO CONTESTANTS
ATTEMPTING TO DERIVE
THE MEANING OF
THE WORD.
- - - -
"The spelling-bee contestant did not know how to spell the word ______."
"The word you have been asked to spell is ______."
"______-______-bo-______-bananna-fanna-fo-______-fee-fy-fo-______.
______!"
"My third favorite word is ______."
"Cinderella, wanting desperately to attend the ball, wished for her fairy godmother to grant her a wish. Her fairy godmother appeared and granted the wish, noting, however, that Cinderella would only be transformed until midnight. If you had a fairy godmother right now, you would probably wish for her to help you spell ______, even
if it meant that you would only know how to spell that word until midnight."
"After correctly spelling ______, the contestant went back to getting teased by his/her classmates."
"______ is a word you will never hear outside these halls."
"Ten years from now you will run into someone on the street who, having watched the spelling bee on ESPN2, and thinking he/she is an expert on matters with which he/she clearly is not familiar, will smile, approach you warmly, and say, 'Hey, can you spell ______ now???'"
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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:
- - - -
Sentences That, If Used by Judges in a Spelling Bee, Would Prove Totally Unhelpful to Contestants Attempting to Derive the Meaning of the Word By Jack Schneider and Moses Rifkin
A Letter to Elton John From the Office of the NASA Administrator By John Moe
Kafka at Camp By Jeff Barnosky
Out of Office Autoreply By Jim Stallard
Dispatches from an Environmental Lawyer Who is Trying to Grow a Mustache By Sean Carman
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