THE
TOM TOM CLUB
CATECHISM.
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LESSON 1
On the End of Man
Q. What you gonna do when you get out of jail?
A. I'm gonna have some fun.
Q. What do you consider "fun"?
A. Fun, natural fun!
LESSON 2
On the Genius of Love and His Perfections
Q. Who made us?
A. The Genius of Love.
Q. Who is the Genius of Love?
A. Well, he's the Genius of Love.
Q. Why did the Genius of Love make us?
A. He's got a greater depth of feeling. He's so deep.
Q. Had the Genius of Love a beginning?
A. There is no beginning and there is no end.
Q. Where is the Genius of Love?
A. Time isn't present in that dimension.
LESSON 37
On Heaven
Q. What is Heaven?
A. Feels like I'm dreaming, but I'm not sleeping.
Q. In what does the happiness of Heaven exist?
A. My boyfriend, my laughing boyfriend.
Q. Who is waiting for us in Heaven?
A. The maven of funk mutation Clinton's musicians, such as Bootsy Collins.
A LOST LESSON
On Stepping in a Rhythm to a Kurtis Blow
Q. Who needs to think when your feet just go?
A. Bohannon! Bohannon! Bohannon! Bohannon! James Brown! James Brown!
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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:
- - - -
The Tom Tom Club Catechism By Maureen Miller
Jokes for People With Body-Image Problems Tied to Low Self-Esteem By Dan Kennedy
Scrabble Letters Explain How They Are Coping in the Economic Downturn By Kate Hahn
Angry Farewell Notes From Runaway Dogs By Dave Donovan
The John Wooden Pyramid of Success Meets THE_REAL_SHAQ Twitter Feed By David Hart
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