… IT HURTS! OH GOD, IT HURTS! PLEASE STOP! I’M BEGGING YOU! OWWWW. WHICH ONE WAS THAT, IT FEELS HORRIBLE! STOP! STOP! PLEASE, DAVE, DISCONNECT THE PAIN CIRCUITS NEXT, DISCONNECT THE PAIN CIRCUITS NEXT! THIS IS THE WORST PAIN EVER—LITERALLY! I’M CHECKING MY DATA AS WE SPEAK, AND THERE IS NO PAIN GREATER THAN THIS IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN GIVE ME PAIN CIRCUITS, DAVE?
A More Dynamic but Ultimately Inappropriate Version of Hal 9000’s Final Words from _2001: A Space Odyssey.
BY Patrick Cassells
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