A Selection From George W. Bush’s Eavesdropping Tapes: Matthew Barney And Björk Place An Ikea Phone Order.
BY CHRIS MCCOY
MATTHEW BARNEY: (On phone.) Matthew. Barney. Sure. It’s called the Flärke. F-L-A-R-K-E. It’s a bookshelf.
BJÖRK: (In background.) Ask if they have an aluminum igloo.
MATTHEW BARNEY: (Muffled.) I’m on hold. I’ll check when he gets back on.
BJÖRK: (Giggling.) Imagine if clouds were made of licorice!
MATTHEW BARNEY: Flärke. With an umlaut over the a. Also, my wife was curious if you sold aluminum … Yes, I can hold again.
BJÖRK: The winter makes me feel particularly blinkered.
MATTHEW BARNEY: The Flärke is in stock? Great. Another quick question. My wife is Scandinavian and she was wondering if you had any aluminum … All right, I can hold.
BJÖRK: Icelanders complete the echo with feel.
MATTHEW BARNEY: You’re kidding me. If you can’t deliver it, why do you have the option to order by phone?
BJÖRK: Pandas are sexy.
SUGGESTED READSPresident Obama Announces Changes to the NSA
by Jason O. Gilbert (1/22/2014)
The Women of the House Science Committee, as Classified by The Beach Boys
by Carol Magary (2/24/2000)
by Steven Seidenberg (1/25/2010)
RECENTLYCoffee Shop Algebra
by Allen Rein (3/27/2015)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Braxton-Hicks Contractions That Hit a Student in My First Period 10th Grade English Class
by Mr. Dickson (3/27/2015)
List: Things My Love Life and My Writing Career Have in Common
by Samantha Edmonds (3/27/2015)
POPULARList: What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You
by John Peck (7/5/2011)
Reasons You Were Not Promoted That are Totally Unrelated to Gender
by Homa Mojtabai (1/27/2015)
A Brooklyn Heights Nursery School’s Entrance Exam
by Garth Horn (3/19/2015)