Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Advertising Slogans Targeted at the Lovecraftian Elder Gods.
BY GREG KNAUSS
Choosy black goats with a thousand young choose Jif.
American Express: Don’t leave R’yleth without it!
A-1 makes hamburgers taste like the rotting flesh of the conquered dead.
You’re in good oily, grasping tentacles with Allstate.
M&M’s: The milk chocolate melts in your maw, not in… whatever that is.
Campbell’s Soup: M’m! M’m! Aaagughguuggh!
The best part of rising from a thousand year slumber is Folgers in your cup.
Microsoft: Where do you want to go today? [Unchanged.]
SUGGESTED READSList: Ad Slogans That Would Be Perfect for Levitra, But, Unfortunately, They Have Already Been Used
by Hart Seely (6/21/2005)
List: More Realistic Makeup Slogans
by Liz Arcury (7/19/2011)
Use The Power of Subliminal Advertising in Your Brochure Text
by Dan Kennedy (9/29/2010)
RECENTLY2014: A Facebook Odyssey
by Ben Jurney (8/29/2014)
I Like Big Brass and I Cannot Lie: Confessions from the Tuba World: You Tuba Players Can’t Deny
by Elizabeth Eshelman (8/29/2014)
List: Cartoon Character Revelations Inspired by the News that Hello Kitty is NOT a Cat
by Dorothy Bendel (8/29/2014)
POPULARHello Stranger On the Street, Could You Please Tell Me How to Take Care of My Baby?
by Wendy Molyneux (8/16/2012)
List: What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You
by John Peck (7/5/2011)
Classic Movies Changed to Not Be Sexist
by Blythe Roberson (8/14/2014)