Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
All I Really Need to Know I Learned in My Spam Box.
I am an average American.
The average credit score of an average American is 608.
I have a house mortgage.
I gamble—poorly—but want to do better.
I want to lose weight.
I’m holding between 25 and 30 pounds of fat in my intestines.
I dig Christian singles.
My perfect match is waiting for me somewhere in my hometown.
I could find her this week.
I want to start a home business and start making real money.
Easy work and great pay always go together.
Earning potential, unlike money, is unlimited.
The best things in life—meaning expensive electronics like BlackBerrys and MacBook Airs—are free.
For most things in life, only my confirmation is needed.
I want to learn magic and/or hypnosis to attract health, love, money, and to get revenge (the good kind).
There is always another last chance.
Qualifying for and winning awards doesn’t require anything—least of all knowing they exist.
Amazing secrets are hidden by nothing more than a mouse click.
I have two friends, Maureen and Angie, who talk about me daily.
Approval is guaranteed.
SUGGESTED READSList: Everything I Need to Known I Learned from Spam
by Julie Landry (9/3/2002)
List: Yiddish Spam
by Matthew David Brozik (12/13/2007)
List: Character from a Thomas Pynchon Novel or Someone Who Recently Sent Me Spam?
by Matt Barnhart (8/6/2009)
RECENTLYLeave Your Jeopardy! Anecdotes to Me
by Ravi Mangla (12/17/2014)
The Hidden Rich: Methinks Thou Dost Protest(ant) Too Much
by Jane Dough (12/17/2014)
List: Three Site Specific Installations, Two and a Half Years Post BFA
by Claire Hamilton (12/17/2014)
POPULARI Am an Artisanal Attorney
by John Frank Weaver (12/12/2014)
It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2014)
A Farewell to Hemnes: Ernest Hemingway Assembles an IKEA Daybed Frame With Three Drawers
by Jeff Steinbrink (12/2/2014)