Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
Send your nonfictional open letters to email@example.com.
An Open Letter to People Who, When I Tell Them I Am an American Sign Language Interpreter, Tell Me How Difficult They Imagine Braille Is to Learn/Read Books With.
BY KADEN MACK
Dear People Who, When I Tell Them I Am an American Sign Language Interpreter, Tell Me How Difficult They Imagine Braille Is to Learn/Read Books With,
Every ASL interpreter has had this experience. Multiple, multiple times. It makes no sense. There are so many of you.
I don’t know what it is that makes you respond to something about Deaf people with something about blind people. Yes, there are people who are deaf and blind, but I know this is not why you say this. I know this isn’t the reason because, when I mention deaf-blind individuals, you’re little Cheerio-mouth-of-amazement becomes a gaping hole that jaws out, “Deaf AND blind?! How do you communicate with them?” and, in that moment, I am walking on water to you.
I hope to run into you again. On your way to the dentist. You will tell me you are about to get your teeth cleaned, and I will respond by saying, “I’ve always imagined colon hydrotherapy would be really hard. Tell me, how do you hold that water in your ass for so long?”
RECENTLYSo You Want to Get Into an MFA Program: A Decision Tree
by Rebekah Frumkin (9/16/2014)
A McSweeney’s Books
by Courtney Moreno (9/16/2014)
Monologue: Alexander Graham Bell Has Had Just About Enough of Your Shit
by Charlie Stockman (9/16/2014)
POPULARClassic Movies Changed to Not Be Sexist
by Blythe Roberson (8/14/2014)
Hello Stranger On the Street, Could You Please Tell Me How to Take Care of My Baby?
by Wendy Molyneux (8/16/2012)
Best Joke Ever: Mitch Hedberg: Hippie Martian Zen Genius
by Mark Peters (8/28/2014)