Ten Reasons Why You, Audrey Tautou, Gamine French Star of Amélie, Should Date Me, Teddy Wayne
by Teddy Wayne (10/24/2005)

List: My Rejected Cooking Show Ideas
by Dan Kennedy (10/21/2005)

List: Leonard Cohen’s Seven Immutable Laws of Business
by Ken Krimstein (10/21/2005)

Giant Squid Takes Us Weekly to Task
by Greg Ruehlmann (10/21/2005)

Selections From Books Removed From My Small Canadian University’s Library Collection That, While Entertaining, Were No Longer Considered Relevant to the Undergraduate Curriculum
by G. Camper (10/20/2005)

The Ballad of Matt Harrigon, Pinewood Derby Winner
by Nick Confalone (10/19/2005)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to My Husband’s Pillow
by Tracy Carr (10/19/2005)

Kevin Dolgin Tells You About Places You Should Go In Europe: The Original Singapore Sling
by Kevin Dolgin (10/18/2005)

Doctor Doom for Homecoming King
by Matt Cody (10/17/2005)

Sestina: Domestic Sestina
by Doug Lang (10/17/2005)

Dealing With an Ex-Nazi Neighbor
by Jim Stallard (10/14/2005)

List: Other Places Jimmy Buffett Wasted Away
by Chris Steck (10/13/2005)

List: Subjects of “Light Bulb” Jokes That Will Probably Lead to Boring Punch Lines
by Peter J. Woods (10/13/2005)

List: Five Ill-Fated Store Names
by V. Einstein (10/13/2005)

Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: An Interview With Geoff Fox, Meteorologist
by Suzanne Yeagley (10/13/2005)

Monologue: Dr. Robotnik’s Proposal to His Board of Shareholders
by Mark Alletag (10/12/2005)

List: The Names of the President and the Members of the Presidential Cabinet According to the Etymological Backgrounds of Their First and Last Names, and of Their Middle Names When Available
by Jørgen G. Cleemann (10/12/2005)

B.R. Cohen’s Annals of Science: Vol. IX: Little Charlie Darwin, God Bless Him
by B.R. Cohen (10/11/2005)

Rejection Letters From Xavier’s School Of Exceptional Youth
by Jon Fitch (10/10/2005)

Responsible Spam
by Tom Bartlett (10/10/2005)

Grant Guidelines
by Jerry Polner (10/10/2005)

Sestina: Sestina for the Q Train
by Adam Mazmanian (10/9/2005)

List: If Yosemite Sam’s Curses Were Considered Real Profanity and Were Dubbed Over for Television in the Same Clumsy, Unconvincing Manner as 1980s R-Rated Movies
by Martin Bell (10/7/2005)

List: Ways in Which the Disinterred Corpse of Silent-Film Actor Lon Chaney Would Be a Better Vice President Than Dick Cheney
by Ian Adams (10/7/2005)

Welcome to Texas Motorcycle-Safety School
by Sebastian Gallese (10/7/2005)

Short Essays on Favorite Songs, Inspired by Nick Hornby’s Songbook: “Venus in Furs” by the Velvet Underground
by Erich Kuersten (10/6/2005)

Two Endings for the Story Lemony Snicket Couldn’t Quite Finish
by Alex Casimir, Lemony Snicket and Nalani Daniels (10/6/2005)

List: As Yet Unrecognized by Microsoft Windows
by Adam Chapman (10/5/2005)

List: Fruit-Drink Flavors That Never Took Off
by Ben Weinberg (10/5/2005)

Sestina: We’ll Always Have Paris Hilton
by Brian Howe (10/4/2005)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.