List: Places to Which Eddie Murphy’s Character in Coming to America Would Want to Move If, Instead of a Queen, He Wanted to Find a Prostitute
by Neal Dusedau (12/23/2005)

List: Most Popular Hobbies in Ancient Rome as Portrayed in HBO’s Rome
by Keith McIntire (12/23/2005)

List: Possible First Names for Count Chocula
by Adam Selzer (12/23/2005)

Dispatches from the NBA Entertainment League: Dispatch 2: Game Two: The Stolen Victory
by Graham Murphy (12/23/2005)

A Christmas Message From Alec Baldwin’s Character in Glengarry Glen Ross
by Andrew Meek (12/23/2005)

Traig & McGrath, Shut-In Detectives: A Holiday Recipe
by Jenny Traig and Peter McGrath (12/22/2005)

Truly Groundbreaking Advertising Ideas
by Dan Kennedy (12/22/2005)

Dispatches from the NBA Entertainment League: Dispatch 1: The League and Game One: The Shame
by Graham Murphy (12/21/2005)

Stories Ending With “Long Story Short” That Could Actually Use Some Elaboration
by Zhubin Parang (12/21/2005)

Taking Your Wild Boar to Giants Stadium
by Greg Ruehlmann (12/20/2005)

Monologue: Ryan Adams Gives a Speech to a Little League Team He Coaches, Before the Championship Game
by Roger Marks (12/20/2005)

Sestina: Sestina for a Sister
by Laura Cronk (12/19/2005)

Death-Metal-Publicist Birth Announcement
by Joe Chellino (12/15/2005)

Listen, Kid, the Biggest Thing You’ve Got Going for You Is Your Rack
by Ellie Kemper (12/15/2005)

Shed Camp
by David Jasper (12/15/2005)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Occupants of a House on the Nintendo Game Paperboy
by Leon Ferri (12/15/2005)

List: Things I Thought About Telling My Husband I Was Thinking About When He Asked What I Was Thinking About While I Was Actually Thinking About Having Babies
by Meg Freebern (12/14/2005)

List: Questions You Should Ask Someone Who Calls in a Bomb Threat, According to the “Life Safety Manual” at My Office Building in Chicago
by Mike Aparicio (12/14/2005)

List: Amended Tag Lines for Arby’s
by Dan Kennedy (12/14/2005)

Sestina: Das Kissenbuch
by Joshua Clover (12/13/2005)

Dispatches From Roy Kesey, An American Guy Married to a Peruvian Diplomat Living in China: Dispatch 25: Of Things, and Their End: Nanchang and Environs, Part V: Jingdezhen
by Roy Kesey (12/10/2005)

List: Milton Bradley’s Secret Invasion Orders for the Attack on Boston Harbor
by Todd Rovak (12/9/2005)

List: Selected Comments From a British Web Discussion Forum Entitled “Protecting Your Home From Criminals—How Far Would You Go?”
by Owain Brimfield (12/9/2005)

List: Ideas for Creating American Jobs That Are Better Than the 735,000 Jobs Promised If Drilling Is Allowed in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
by G.C. Aitch (12/9/2005)

List: What I Learned Listening to AM Radio
by George Ford (12/9/2005)

Refreshingly Candid, Yet Admittedly Less Traditional, Pet Notes That My Neighborhood Animal-Adoption Center Would Probably Find to Be More Effective: A Comparison
by Jay Dyckman (12/9/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Letter to Elton John From the Office of the NASA Administrator
by John Moe (12/9/2005)

When Cops Bomb
by Dan Kennedy (12/8/2005)

Sean Wilsey On the Glories of His Book Tour: The Tour
by Sean Wilsey (12/7/2005)

Kids’ Letters From Terrorist Camp
by Bob Woodiwiss (12/7/2005)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.