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List: Things Heard During John Cage’s Folsom Prison Performance of “4’33”."
by Aaron Burch, Christopher Monks, Elizabeth Ellen, Jensen Whelan, Jim Ruland, Matthew Simmons, Melissa Bell, Pasha Malla and Steven Seighman (5/12/2005)

Rock and Roll, Thesaurusized
by Christopher J. Falvey (5/12/2005)

List: Comments Overheard at a Brainstorming Meeting Between Ted Nugent and the Editors of Gourmet Magazine Where They Were Discussing the Upcoming Book Gourmet Magazine’s Vegan Cooking With Ted Nugent
by Aaron Starmer (5/11/2005)

Sestina: Baghdad: The Disappeared Girls
by Marilyn Krisl (5/11/2005)

Comments Overheard At A Brainstorming Meeting Between Ted Nugent And The Editors Of Gourmet Magazine Where They Were Discussing The Upcoming Book Gourmet Magazine’s Vegan Cooking With Ted Nugent.
by Aaron Starmer (5/11/2005)

List: Three Items at the Supermarket I See in a New Way, Now That I’ve Read Some Books on Literary Theory
by Matthew Simmons (5/10/2005)

List: Song Titles, Before Editing for Language Efficiency and Clarity
by Jack Schneider, Moses Rifkin and Paul Sacchetti (5/10/2005)

Dispatches From Couples Therapy
by Jeff Drake and Wendy Molyneux (5/10/2005)

Kevin Dolgin Tells You About Places You Should Go In Europe: Switzerland’s Least Boring Street
by Kevin Dolgin (5/9/2005)

Medical Case Histories on Mount Olympus
by Jim Stallard (5/9/2005)

Short Essays on Favorite Songs, Inspired by Nick Hornby’s Songbook: Piano Concerto No. 3 by Ludwig Van Beethoven
by David Anderson (5/7/2005)

List: Selections From the Beatles’ Catalog, Had the Band Evolved Not Toward the Adoption of a More Experimental Sound in Its Later Years, but Into Rorqual Whales
by Eric March (5/6/2005)

List: From the Prog Rock Ice Cream Shoppe: Flavors Inspired by a Certain Canadian Power Trio
by Matt Bull (5/6/2005)

List: New Radiohead Material to Be Debuted at a Benefit Show to Protest Privatization of the Postal Sector
by Jez Burrows and Michael Jenkins (5/6/2005)

Sestina: The Lyricist and His Rock Star
by Peter Jay Shippy (5/6/2005)

Three Lists Involving Musical Artists
by Eric March, Jez Burrows, Matt Bull and Michael Jenkins (5/6/2005)

Thursday and Empire: or, How a Typical Workday Can Seem More Important When Modeled As a Great Era in Western Civilization
by Vince Licata (5/5/2005)

List: Things I Cannot Say to My Unpaid Interns As It Would Make Me Look Like an Ungrateful Bitch
by Amy Adoyzie (5/4/2005)

List: Things I Imagine My Boss Does When He Goes Home for the Night
by Nick Pyle (5/4/2005)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Shrink-Wrap
by Christopher Dazey (5/4/2005)

List: Last Names Clearly Derived From Ancestral Professions
by Sam Means (5/3/2005)

Monologue: Bit Bit, Speak!: A Monologue From the Canine Companion Of Britney Spears And Kevin Federline
by Kathy Cacace (5/3/2005)

List: The Settings That Would Be On a Blender Today If the Blender Had Been Invented, Say, 100 Years Before Its Actual Invention Date of 1922
by Steve Schneider (5/2/2005)

Understanding the Seattle SuperSonics by Comparing Them to Girls You May Have Dated in College
by Charlie Williams (5/2/2005)

The Settings That Would Be On A Blender Today If The Blender Had Been Invented, Say, 100 Years Before Its Actual Invention Date Of 1922
by Steve Schneider (5/2/2005)

Dispatches From a Real McSweeney: Golf Is a Dangerous Game
by Timothy McSweeney (5/1/2005)

List: Reasons We Can’t Have a Baby, Honey
by Geoff Smith (4/29/2005)

List: Titles of Sermons to Which Congregants Might Actually Pay Attention
by Jason Kellett (4/29/2005)

Are You Falling In Love With Your Excess Body Fat?
by Eric Silver (4/29/2005)

List: Good Casino Ads / Bad Things for Someone to Say About Your Mom
by Molly Dolan (4/29/2005)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.