List: Headlines in the Sports Section of My College Newspaper That Seemed Funny at the Time, But in Retrospect Were Probably Just Unnecessarily Mean-Spirited
by Ilya Abyzov (12/15/2003)

Statement of Witness from Benjamin Mavodones Concerning His Involvement in the Recent Actions Against Local Gang Members Who Call Themselves “The Hail Marys.”
by David Meiklejohn (12/15/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to DirecTV
by Molly Bishop (12/12/2003)

Dispatches From a Public Librarian: Dispatch 1
by Scott Douglas (12/12/2003)

McSweeney’s Brain Exploder: On Screen Chemistry
by Carlton Doby (12/10/2003)

Twenty-Minute Stories: Untitled Twenty-Minute Story
by Victoria Lancelotta (12/10/2003)

Gabe Hudson’s Dear Mr. President Letters: Batch 3
by Various Letter Writers (12/9/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to People Who “Tut” on the Tube
by Diane Costello (12/9/2003)

Twenty-Minute Stories: Quadratic
by Michael Martone (12/9/2003)

List: Rejected Titles Suggested by Clay Aiken for Ruben Studdard’s Debut Album
by Robert McEvily (12/8/2003)

List: Popular Pickup Lines Used by Serial Killers
by Wendy Molyneux (12/8/2003)

Adventures With Jonathan Ames: A Thanksgiving Journal
by Jonathan Ames (12/8/2003)

Twenty-Minute Stories: Seven Failures By Lunchtime
by Charles Baxter (12/8/2003)

Sestina: Sestina
by Timothy Liu (12/8/2003)

Short Essays on Favorite Songs, Inspired by Nick Hornby’s Songbook: Richard Marx’s “Hazard.”
by George Viebranz (12/7/2003)

Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: An Interview with Sara Willkomm, President of a Michael Ian Black Fan Club
by Suzanne Yeagley (12/6/2003)

Dispatches From Roy Kesey, An American Guy Married to a Peruvian Diplomat Living in China: Dispatch 8: Certain Gatherings, and a Fetish
by Roy Kesey (12/5/2003)

List: Replacing Bunnies With Bastards
by Mark Peters (12/4/2003)

List: Possible Closing Lines for a Defendant Who Has Chosen to Represent Himself
by Brian Sack (12/4/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Young Women Who Work in Chain Bookstores
by Sara Bauer (12/4/2003)

World of Hurt
by Ronnie Cordova (12/4/2003)

McSweeney’s Brain Exploder: You’re the Topps
by Carlton Doby (12/3/2003)

Twenty-Minute Stories: An Introduction to Twenty-Minute Stories
by David Daley (12/3/2003)

B.R. Cohen’s Annals of Science: Vol. II: The Milk Man Cometh: Pasteur v. Toussaint
by B.R. Cohen (12/2/2003)

Sestina: Pam
by Aaron Belz (12/2/2003)

Sestina: China’s Leadership, Explained
by Sean Carrie (12/2/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Yuppie Mummies (or Yummies)
by Anna McKerrow (12/1/2003)

Eight Strategies for Modern Living
by Charles Ullmann (12/1/2003)

Gabe Hudson’s Dear Mr. President Letters: Batch 2
by Various Letter Writers (11/28/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Guy Who Scored Only 12 “Fast Money” Points on Family Feud in the Mid-Seventies
by Mollie Wilson (11/25/2003)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store.