ARCHIVE

American Dance Crazes That Never Became American Dance Crazes
by Ryan Boudinot (3/9/2004)

List: Rejected Titles for Teen-Health Pamphlets
by Rachel Summer Tupelom (3/9/2004)

List: Eight Ways to Not Get Hit In the Face with a Brick
by Luke Hackney (3/9/2004)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to My Personal Trainer
by Ted Everson (3/8/2004)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Strange Red Bugs with Many Legs Living in My Basement, Which Is Where My Roommates and I Sleep
by Meredith Goldstein (3/8/2004)

A Brief History of Helium to Be Read Aloud with the Aid of Helium
by Justin Dullum (3/8/2004)

Sestina: She Used a Funnel
by Tony Tost (3/8/2004)

List: Adjectives that, Depressingly, Apply to Various Products In My Bathroom but Not to Me, Personally
by Brendan Hill (3/7/2004)

List: PGA Golfers Who Might Have a Future in the Porn Industry
by Alex Gordon (3/7/2004)

Short Imagined Monologues: The Giant’s Son
by Markov Manalo (3/4/2004)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Many Leafhoppers Destroyed in My Phylogenetic Research
by Geoff Balme (3/3/2004)

Who Are You Wearing
by Alysia Gray Painter (3/1/2004)

Gabe Hudson’s Dear Mr. President Letters: Batch 12
by Various Letter Writers (2/27/2004)

List: Words That Could Conceivably Be Used to Describe Both Scalps and Scallops
by Michael Ward (2/27/2004)

Sestina: On Delta Flight 659 with Sean Penn
by Denise Duhamel (2/27/2004)

Traig & McGrath, Shut-In Detectives: Cases 23 & 24
by Jenny Traig and Peter McGrath (2/26/2004)

Sestina: “Be Careful, Cortelyou, How You Tell Her”
by Michael Schiavo (2/26/2004)

Sestina: Get To School (A Sestina)
by Julia Mayhew - Age 9. (2/26/2004)

More Pope Reviews
by Zev Borow (2/25/2004)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Lifetime Television for Women
by Lucy Baker (2/25/2004)

Gabe Hudson’s Dear Mr. President Letters: Batch 11
by Various Letter Writers (2/24/2004)

Not-Yet-Aired Anti-teen Smoking Ads Sponsored by Phillip Morris
by Cam Deyoung (2/24/2004)

Richard Parks Answers Your Bluegrass Music and Bluegrass Music-Related Questions: Column 4.
by Richard Parks (2/24/2004)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Makers of Glaceau’s Vitamin Water
by Catherine Price (2/23/2004)

Guestbook: Vermont Applebrook Inn, Lancaster Suite, January 1, 1999­-May 1, 2001 (Excerpts)
by Jay Wexler (2/23/2004)

List: Other Unfortunate Uses for Johnny Cash Songs
by Kenda Burrack (2/22/2004)

List: Duck, Duck, Goose
by Michael Ward (2/22/2004)

List: Hexadecimal Color Codes in HTML That Look or Sound Dirty, But Are in Fact Merely Colorful
by Angela Genusa (2/22/2004)

List: Things Editorial Assistants Should Never Say to Senior Editors
by Stephen Karam (2/22/2004)

List: New Age Statements From Breakdancing: Mr. Fresh and the Supreme Rockers Show You How to Do It! (Avon Books, 1984)
by Brendan Short (2/22/2004)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store.