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Authorial Candy Bars, With Their Respective Tag Lines, That Weren’t as Successful as the Oh Henry! Candy Bar.
Nietzsche Bar—"Chocolate is dead."
Orwell Bar—"Eat this treat and help blot out the bloody stain of Stalin’s Russia."
Barrie’s Berry Snacks—"The official candy of faeries."
Chaucer Sweet Cheese Bar—"Of harmes two the lesse is for to cheese."
Melville Bar—"Call me tasty."
Dollop of Trollope—"Victorianesque in its chocolate decadence."
James Joyce Candy Bar—"Episode I: Tele-munch-us."
E.A. Poe Candy Balls—"Keeping time, time, time, / In a sort of Runic rhyme, / To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells / From the Candy Balls, Candy Balls, Candy Balls."
Mrs. Dalloway Treats—"Woolf these down!"
Wilde Bar—"A taste so good it’ll be better than being sentenced to two years of hard labor for the crime of sodomy."
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List: Authors Whose Names You Can Say While Chewing Gum
by Paul Bacon (9/25/2000)
Jonathan Lethem: The McSweeney’s Interview — in its Entirety Thus Far
by Jonathan Letham and McSweeney's Editors (9/17/1999)
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by Katie Bo Williams (12/4/2013)
Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Alayna Pine Pretended She Was Sick
by Suzanne Yeagley (12/4/2013)
Tim Carvell’s History’s Notable Persons Reconsidered: Nero
by Tim Carvell (12/4/2013)
POPULARJamie and Jeff’s Birth Plan
by Paul William Davies (12/26/2012)
Retail Therapy: Inside the Apple Store: It’s a Trap!
by J.K. Appleseed (11/21/2013)
It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (10/20/2009)