Believe in the Believer.
BY THE BELIEVER
John Stamos took the words right out of our respective mouths when he said, “Joining ER, I felt like that kid who got the golden ticket in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”
Do you want to feel like John Stamos feeling like that kid? Then use this occasion—our tenth anniversary!—to join us. Subscribe (or renew) now.
As you know, it’s an uncertain time for print media. The Believer, as a lavishly printed publication with few ads, relies on subscribers to be able to pay our press operators, our small staff, our contributors, and those tiny fish that nibble the dead skin off our feet. Our subscribers are truly vital to the existence of the magazine.
So right now, we need your $45, in exchange for which we will send you, for an entire calendar year, a magazine with the finest writing and the most unexpected interviews, the lewdest comics and the weirdest illustrations, and one that also comes with original music, art, films, and cutouts of George Clooney in scrubs, all printed in soy-based inks on recycled acid-free heavy-stock paper.
Our subscribers mean everything to us. To show our appreciation, we want to offer something new—something we’ve never offered before—something befitting of a true pledge drive. We even made official merch for the occasion, which is not yet available to the non-subscription-buying public!
Starting now and for the next week:
- Buy two Believer subscriptions1 and we’ll send you an excellently strange fine-quality Believer tote bag.
- Buy three subscriptions and we’ll send you a super-cute and ultra-useful Believer mug.
- Buy four subscriptions and we’ll send you not only the mug, not only the tote bag, but BOTH VESSELS AT ONCE.
- Order more than four subscriptions and we’ll flip out, and we’ll also send you the mug, the tote bag, and something equally amazing of our choosing. Merch-a-palooza!
(If you order online, just email firstname.lastname@example.org to claim your prize.)
Lovers of humans can also subscribe by calling us at 415-642-5609, where a dedicated team will help you exchange your personal information for a year’s worth of bliss. Ask for our managing editor, Andi, if you’d like to both subscribe and hear facts about rabbits. Ask for our sales and marketing director, Sam, if you’re on the fence about subscribing and would like to be convinced. Or if a friend or lover needs the same, outsource your rabbit-fact-giving and convincing to us by sharing contact info and two or three facts about him or her. We’ll then get in touch with a personalized message. We’ll try not to be creepy. We promise.
To ten more years!
1 To buy multiple subscriptions through our online store, each purchase needs to be a separate interaction. Just give us a call at 415-642-5609 if you’d prefer.
SUGGESTED READSIssue No. 10: Your Questions Are Answered
by McSweeney's Editors (2/12/2003)
McSweeney’s Advent Calendar: Authors’ Choice Week, Day Five
by McSweeney's (12/15/2012)
A Very Special Valentine’s Wish from the Believer
by The Believer (2/14/2013)
RECENTLYSentient Cloud of Poisonous Gas Seeks Companion
by Sam Shelstad (2/27/2015)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to Women Who Shame Catcalling
by Wendy Litner (2/27/2015)
List: Existentialist Quotes for Social Media Platforms
by Jim Sabataso (2/27/2015)
POPULARList: What a Straight Man’s Favorite Musical Says About Him
by Mara Wilson (2/10/2015)
Reasons You Were Not Promoted That are Totally Unrelated to Gender
by Homa Mojtabai (1/27/2015)
Jamie and Jeff’s Birth Plan
by Paul William Davies (12/26/2012)