[HENRY is sitting home alone, watching football on TV. There is a knock at the door. He opens it up to find Italian Prime Minister SILVIO BERLUSCONI. The audience applauds.

SILVIO: What is that on the television?

HENRY: Football.

SILVIO: It is a game for thugs. It has none of the beauty of soccer. And why are those men all so tan when they’re playing inside? He turns to the camera Am I right? Mamma mia!

HENRY: The game is just starting.

SILVO: Why is that man with the striped shirt flipping a coin? You leave your games to luck?

HENRY: No. It’s to see who gets the ball first.

SILVIO: And why is he putting the coin in his pocket? Is he a Jew? He turns to the camera Am I right? Mamma mia!

The phone rings. HENRY answers.

HENRY: Hello?

SILVIO: Is it for me? Is it a young prostitute? Tell her “You’re welcome.”

HENRY: No, it’s my girlfriend. She’s coming over in a little while.

SILVIO: You don’t sound happy. Is it you are a homosexual? He turns to the camera Am I right? Mamma mia!

HENRY: No, it’s because she had a talk with her father about me.

SILVIO: So?

HENRY: He and I don’t see eye to eye.

SILVIO: Is he like Hitler?

HENRY: Not exactly.

SILVIO: Too bad. I was starting to like the guy. He turns to the camera Am I right? Mamma mia!

[HENRY’s girlfriend LUCY comes in. She is an attractive blonde.

LUCY: Hi, Henry.

SILVIO: Buona sera, signora.

LUCY: Have we met?

SILVIO: I don’t know. What do you charge?

HENRY: Silvio, please. I don’t pay to go to bed with her.

SILVIO: No? You get it for free? That Jewish referee would be so proud. He turns to the camera Am I right? Mamma mia!

Applause.