Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Captions for a Cartoon.
BY Earl Wang
I recently pitched the following captions to the New Yorker for their Third Annual Cartoon Caption Contest. The cartoon, or, rather, the illustrative portion of the cartoon can be viewed here.
1. What a goddamn motherfucker.
2. What a fucking motherfucking fucker.
3. What the fuck is that fucking fuck fucking think he’s fucking doing?
4. Motherfucking fucker just fucking fucking fucking fucking.
5. Go fuck yourself, you fucking piece of shit.
6. Fucking shithead.
7. Fucking shit-for-brains assfuck.
8. Fucking dog-ass motherfucker.
9. Jesus fucking Christ, would you look at that motherfucker?
10. You’re just too fucking sad about the wrong fucking things, Albert.
11. Son of a fucking bitch. I’m so fucking mad right now. I fuck, would you—fuck—stop fucking around, you fuck.
12. I will shit you, you son of a bitch.
13. Shit and fucking fire, save matches.
14. Listen, you shit, I will fuck you to damn hell for fuck’s sake.
15. It’s a wonderful fucking life!
17. Still, it would be a great mistake to abandon your work on the perpetual-motion machine.
18. Fuck him.
19. Fuck this shit.
SUGGESTED READSIn-Progress Ideas for New Yorker Cartoons
by Scott Underwood (11/18/2005)
List: Alternate Captions for Seven Family Circus Cartoons
by Adam Eli Clem (2/3/2005)
List: Future Winners of the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest
by Roy Futterman (6/24/2005)
RECENTLYOur Year In Social Media
by Taylor Carr (12/17/2013)
Speaking for All Christians Exactly Like Me: The Hobbit and the Watchful Dragons of Our Hearts
by Jordan Jeffers (12/17/2013)
List: Lesser-Known Virtual Currencies
by Annie Wyman (12/17/2013)
POPULARI Regret to Inform You That My Wedding to Captain Von Trapp Has Been Canceled
by Melinda Taub (5/18/2011)
Retail Therapy: Inside the Apple Store: It’s a Trap!
by J.K. Appleseed (11/21/2013)
Jamie and Jeff’s Birth Plan
by Paul William Davies (12/26/2012)