1.
Sell your eyebrows. People might pay good money for those sculpted arches. How will you know unless you try? Pluck and see! Plus, sans brows, you’ll be ready to …
2.
Start a boy band. Folks need good tunes and good times in a recession. Do it! No fear.
3.
Don a chic ski mask and rob a bank. Live a little!
4.
Leave a tooth under your pillow. Most likely, the tooth fairy doesn’t exist, but this is no time to be a Negative Nelly. Play the odds! What have you got to lose, besides a tooth?
5.
Surprise your mate with a steamy note. While your honey’s in the shower, sneak into the bathroom and scrawl a note in the steam on the mirror. Something like “Can I borrow $5,000? XOXO.” Or …
6.
Leave a sweet but fiscally accurate note in an unexpected spot. People love surprises! Imagine how surprised your main squeeze will be when he gets to the bottom of a lasagna tin and finds a “saucy” note explaining that you’ve “borrowed” some cash and also the car!
7.
Do what you love. (Best if what you love is embezzling.)
8.
Invent a phony charity and use guilt to bring in donations. Oh, come on, quit being such a Goody Two-Shoes!
9.
Deal drugs. Make sure to undersell your competitors at first to build your client base.
10.
Pay your bills with fresh herbs. Are you sure a bouquet of marjoram wouldn’t suffice to pay off your medical bills? Are you absolutely sure, though? How about thyme?