I’ve always felt like part of the flock, but this shepherd really made me feel like an individual sheep. I didn’t like it.

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The worst shepherd ever!!!!!!!!! You wouldn’t believe how many times she lost us. Be prepared to be left alone to come home on your own … Trust me, there were no tails wagging. Flock spirit sucks.

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Bo-o-o-o-ring! Like watching grass grow. In fact, we did watch grass grow.

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Total perv. Always shearing us with his eyes.

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Awesome shepherd! He really makes you ruminate over the big issues.

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Mary had a little lump. Eww! What is that on her neck!?!

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Enough with the bad puns! We get it: ewe = you. Ha ha ha (barf). And every day it’s “So who watched Graze Anatomy last night?” OMG!

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Awful hygiene, even for a shepherd. Wears the same tunic, like, every day. Made me sick to all four of my stomachs.

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It’s always “My goats did it this way” and “My goats would never do that.” Go herd goats then, idiot!

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I can’t believe someone pays him for this. Once, we found him under the haystack, fast asleep. We peed on him. Good times!

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Sick! I mean, what’s with the Wile E. Coyote costume? Not funny, man!

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Clearly intimidated by the black sheep.