Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Kapitoil and The Love Song of Jonny Valentine.
BY TEDDY WAYNE
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ’em, but only in reference to assembling these two goddamn IKEA parts for a lounge chair, which, after beating them together out of frustration, I finally found the section where they’re supposed to join, but, Christ, spending three hours on a Saturday for this is not worth the discount.
SUGGESTED READSOpen Letters: An Open Letter to the Elephant in the Ikea-Furnished Room
by Chloe Bland (1/30/2004)
How to Make Your Own Proverbs
by Russell Bradbury-Carlin (1/8/2004)
List: Rethinking Horse Proverbs
by Joseph O'Brien (5/3/2004)
RECENTLYLinguistic Notice for Homo Sapiens Heretofore Known as “Pussies” and “Little Bitches.”
by Sarah Smarsh (3/31/2015)
Home On the Range: Brother, Can You Spare an Individual Bullet to Stop a Collective Tyrant?
by Robert Lawrence (3/31/2015)
Reviews of New Food
by Various New Food Tasters (3/31/2015)
POPULARAn Honest College Rejection Letter
by Mimi Evans (3/26/2015)
List: What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You
by John Peck (7/5/2011)
Reasons You Were Not Promoted That are Totally Unrelated to Gender
by Homa Mojtabai (1/27/2015)