[Originally published January 19, 2011.]

- - -

[Note: If no screaming or growling is indicated,
sing in a baseline caterwaul.
]

SONG TITLE:
“(Noun #1) of Misfortune”

(Adjective #1) death!
(Adjective #2) death!
(Adjective #3) death!

(Gerund #1)
(Gerund #2)
(Gerund #3)

(Incomprehensible growl)
(Guttural growl)
(Hellish growl)

The (insect name, plural, non-ladybug) are coming!
(Verb #1, present participle) my (noun #2)!
(Verb #2, present participle) my (noun #3, rhymes with noun #2)

(Gerund #3)
(Gerund #2)
(Gerund #1)

(Screaming)
My (noun, part of the body)‘s on fire!
My (situation/constipation/exclamation/intonation
/orchestration/ostentation/enunciation) is dire!
If we don’t bob our heads,
We will surely expire!

/instrumental/
/guitar solo/
/drum solo/
/bass solo/
/keyboard solo/

My soul (bleeds/corrodes/questions its own existence)
(Guttural growl)
This is a plague of (animal name, plural, non-koala)
Precursor to the hate and pain of (noun #1)!

/instrumental/
/bass solo/
/guitar solo/
/keyboard solo/
/drum solo/

I ride the horse of (war/famine/conquest/death)
This is the time of (torture/lice/Annus horribilis/anus horribilis)
There is no (Santa Claus/salvation/goodness/God)
I drink the (blackest/grayest/foulest/pee) water
From the cup of (poison/sorrow/death/Bisphenol A)
And suddenly everything is (black, dark, disappointing, sub-par)

(Screaming)
My (noun, part of the brain)‘s on fire!
My (situation/constipation/exclamation/intonation/
orchestration/ostentation/enunciation) is dire!
If we don’t bob our heads,
We will surely expire!

(Guttural growl)
If we don’t bob our heads, we will surely expire!

(Hellish growl)
If we don’t bob our heads, we will surely expire!