The young woman who mumbles that she is possessed by Satan and only he can take away her pain.

The guy with slimy hands who always wants to shake hands.

The man who says people keep touching him and that I need to do a better job of watching out for these people.

The woman who likes to call employees on the phone and talk dirty.

The man who calls asking for the “non-1-800” number for a company he saw on a TV infomercial.

The man who destroys a hardback book and then insists on replacing it with a paperback on a completely different subject.

The woman who brings in a list of 20 books and wants to reserve all of them but doesn’t know how to use a computer.

The man who complains about the restroom not meeting his expectations.

The man who wants to sell the library air filters.

The woman who demands one-on-one computer instruction for her hour computer session.

The man who complains that people are watching what he writes in his e-mail.

The man who’s convinced that the Mafia has infiltrated the local 7-Eleven.