Dispatches From a Public Librarian
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Introduction
For some five years I have worked for a smallish public library nestled cozily between Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm in Orange County, California. This is where most of the observations in this dispatch will take place, although sometimes I do go to other libraries (some even far, far away), and I’ll include those observations as they come.
I came into the library scene about eight years ago. I began as a student assistant at a college library in Fullerton. After receiving my bachelor’s degree, I was bored, confused, and didn’t want to get off my parents’ insurance plan, so I enrolled in the Library Science and Information Technology program at San Jose State.
I will update this dispatch on a sometimes-regular basis, and will include stories about strange patrons, strange tales, and otherwise just strange things. The names and description of the patrons are purposely left out, so as to protect their privacy (libraries are real sticklers for this privacy stuff, which is why many have been in a tiff about the Patriot Act, but don’t get me started).
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Dispatch 31:
People Who Come Into the Library That I Try to Avoid.
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The young woman who mumbles that she is possessed by Satan and only he can take away her pain.
The guy with slimy hands who always wants to shake hands.
The man who says people keep touching him and that I need to do a better job of watching out for these people.
The woman who likes to call employees on the phone and talk dirty.
The man who calls asking for the “non-1-800” number for a company he saw on a TV infomercial.
The man who destroys a hardback book and then insists on replacing it with a paperback on a completely different subject.
The woman who brings in a list of 20 books and wants to reserve all of them but doesn’t know how to use a computer.
The man who complains about the restroom not meeting his expectations.
The man who wants to sell the library air filters.
The woman who demands one-on-one computer instruction for her hour computer session.
The man who complains that people are watching what he writes in his e-mail.
The man who’s convinced that the Mafia has infiltrated the local 7-Eleven.
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