Essentially, it is a giant ball hanging from a chain. I will attach this chain to my own personal anti-gravity pod as I indicated here. I will be in control of the pod as well as the ball. The idea? To swing the ball at the hedgehog with enough force to make him drop all his rings, leaving him vulnerable to attack. If things get hairy, I have installed a backup power supply, stored here, that will swing the ball all 360 degrees around my pod, increasing both the centrifugal force of the boulder-like ball and my defenses.

Yes, I have thought this through and I have decided that this is the best use of my newly discovered anti-gravity technology. What about the pod? Well … I like convertibles. I want to feel the breeze through my mustache as I destroy this little blue threat to my industry. No, I don’t think it will be necessary to add armor to the top of the pod—this is a hedgehog, not some sort of flying fox.

I have explained this to all of you in writing—the hedgehog has taken it upon himself to free our rabbits, which we have turned into robots. These rabbits are the backbone of our work force! If we lost them we could no longer maintain our islands, cities, or our giant anti-gravity slot machines. I have stolen a lot of rings from those slot machines, which has shot our profit margins through the roof!

OK, we’ll compromise. We won’t downsize the ball, but we will skimp on the flameproof interior. I never should have gone public.