Eight Ways to Not Get Hit In the Face with a Brick

1. Keep your home brick-free.

2. Avoid brickyards and places where they lay brick.

3. Don’t go into or near old buildings made of brick. There is too much potential for a loose brick to fall out and hit you in the face.

4. Don’t attempt to rob Macaulay Culkin. He’ll throw a brick at your face.

5. Don’t play any sport if they’ve replaced the ball with a brick.

6. Don’t give children bricks. Any chance they get, and they’ll hit you in the face with one.

7. If someone asks if they can hit you in the face with a brick, say no. Any other response guarantees you’ll get hit in the face with a brick.

8. Refrain from attending or participating in any annual “Brick Tossing” competitions. That’s just asking for it.