1. So, Audrey….
2. I want to tell you something.
3. Audrey, I would like to talk to you. I think it’s important.
4. Let’s talk about last night, Audrey.
5. Trying not to make this awkward, Audrey.
6. This is wrong, Audrey.
7. Audrey, I know this doesn’t mean you don’t care.
8. This is some sick crap.

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Email Subject Heading from the Democratic National Committee: 5, 6, 7, 8
Text from an Emotionally Immature Friend: 3
Both: 1, 2, 4