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Embarrassing Costumes My Dad Wore on Trick-or-Treat Night.
1979: Guy in Jethro Tull T-shirt with a six-pack of Miller High Life in a paper bag.
1981: Guy in Steelers jersey with a bottle of Absolut vodka in a paper bag.
1982: Guy in Aerosmith T-shirt with a bottle of Popov vodka (no paper bag).
1983: Guy in vomit-stained Jethro Tull T-shirt.
1984: Lunch-shift manager at Outback Steakhouse, even though he got fired from Outback in June.
1986: Guy going door to door trying to borrow money from all our neighbors, getting into an argument with Mr. Fisher, then falling asleep in our driveway.
1987: Guy who’s only in town for one night and wearing a fake mustache because if Mom sees him she’ll call the cops.
1988: Guy in strict defiance of his restraining order.
1989: Guy asking, “Aren’t you a little old to be trick-or-treating?” Aren’t you a little old to be calling our house and hanging up, Dad?
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