Ernest Hemingway, Yelper.
BY Alex Buckey
[Originally published March 22, 2011.]
Sun City Asian Bistro and Café
I called Sam and asked him if he wanted to come to dinner but he said he had softball practice and I said that was a damned shame and hung up. When I got to Sun City Bea and Rob were at were at the bar, behind tattooed women and men with guitars. They were sitting in the shade and their beers were half empty. We drank beer and ate pho but Rob was restless and did not talk very much. He said he wanted to go see a band that was playing in a dive bar across town. Bea called him a smug hipster and Rob called her a bitch and I sat and drank my beer and wished I had not come. They left early and I paid for Bea’s spring rolls and went home alone.
Infusion Tea and Coffee House
Category: Coffee & Tea
I got up late and the sun was already high and I had been drunk the night before. The barista brought me a cup of coffee and asked if I wanted anything else and when I said no she left. The coffee was good and very hot. I sat at the table for a while. When I was done the barista came and cleared my mug and went back behind the counter. I ordered a muffin to go and walked out into the street. By that time it was two in the afternoon and my headache was not as strong as it had been.
Teller’s Furniture and Antiques
Category: Furniture Stores
I had moved to a new place and the leg of my chair had broken and I needed a new one. I went to the store and there was a man there who had been working at Teller’s a long time. His hair was grey and he had three rings on each hand. He showed me a wooden chair and said that he liked it and thought I would too. I did like it and after I bought it a mover came in an old truck to deliver it. The mover smoked a cigarette inside my foyer and told me I was lucky to have such a good chair to sit in. I told him not to scuff the floors on the way in.
Zorba Express Mediterranean Café
It was a cold night and the rain was coming down hard and I did not want to move from my couch. I called Zorba Express and a man came with a gyro in a greasy paper bag. I paid him and he left. The gyro was good and it felt good to eat in front of the television and out of the rain. I fell asleep between the couch cushions and when I woke up the next day the paper bag was still there on the floor.
Category: Ice Cream and Frozen Yogurt
I met a woman who said she had been to Pinkberry. “What the hell is that,” I said, and she laughed but said nothing.
SUGGESTED READSA Taste of Pyongyang
by Robin Hemley (8/20/2009)
by Robin Hemley (10/22/2009)
Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Sushi Nozawa
by Jesse Eisenberg (5/24/2012)
RECENTLYMonsanto Does Not Condone Cannibalism
by Andrew Cushing (3/6/2014)
Reviews of Self-Help Books by Professional Athletes: The B-Ballin’ Corporate Synergist: A Review of The Winner Within by Pat Riley
by Miles Wray (3/6/2014)
Teddy Wayne’s Unpopular Proverbs: Oysters
by Teddy Wayne (3/6/2014)
POPULARSon, It’s Time We Talk About Where Start-Ups Come From
by Marco Kaye (2/4/2014)
Kama Sutra for Couples Who Have Been Dating for Over Three Years
by Chelsea Davison (1/15/2014)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to Men On the Subway, Specifically During Morning Rush Hour On the A Train Between Jay Street and Canal
by Jenna Clark Embrey (2/21/2014)