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Extreme Ways to Break Your Arm.
Hand-to-hand combat with Steven Seagal in Out for Justice
Engage in martial-arts battle with Steven Seagal in Under Siege
Attempt to punch Steven Seagal in Marked for Death
Run menacingly toward Steven Seagal in Above the Law
SUGGESTED READSThe Society of Pain
by Will O'Neill (9/20/2010)
I Wear Blue, Disposable Paper Surgical Gowns, Double Rubber Gloves, and a Face Mask Attached to a Battery Operated Backpack Respirator.
by Brent Hoff (3/8/1999)
Events, Over a Life Span, That Precipitate the End of Fun and Games
by Greg Ryan (9/29/2010)
RECENTLYWhile I Was Looking Down
by Matt Passet (12/11/2013)
McSweeney’s Advent Calendar Recommendations!
by McSweeney's (12/11/2013)
Classic Russian Writers: For teh Internets: Mikhail Lermontov’s “A Dream."
by KA Semënova (12/11/2013)
POPULARI Regret to Inform You That My Wedding to Captain Von Trapp Has Been Canceled
by Melinda Taub (5/18/2011)
Retail Therapy: Inside the Apple Store: It’s a Trap!
by J.K. Appleseed (11/21/2013)
Jamie and Jeff’s Birth Plan
by Paul William Davies (12/26/2012)