Give you up.
Let you down.
Run around.
Desert you.
Touch you inappropriately.
Lists
- - - -
Send your list submissions to lists@mcsweeneys.net.
Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney’s Book of Lists is available for purchase at any bookstore you care to name.
See all articles from this column
- - - -
Five Things Rick Astley Is Never Gonna Do.
BY Travis Nicholson
- - - -
See all articles from this column
SUGGESTED READS
List: A Paranoid’s ’80s Mix Tapeby Dave Reidy (4/5/2001)
List: Song Titles by Judas Priest, Modified to Reflect an Alternate Reality in Which the Band is Obsessed with Members of President Jimmy Carter’s Cabinet and the 1985 American League Eastern Division Champion Toronto Blue Jays
by Steve Huey (4/16/2002)
List: Ways in Which She Could Have Blinded Me With Science
by Jules Lipoff (2/11/2005)
RECENTLY
The Consumer Product Safety Commission Has Issued a Voluntary Recall for “Baby Boomers.”
by John Flowers (2/9/2012)
List: And When Your Sister Said That, You Knew She Was a Narcissist
by Megan Twiddy (2/9/2012)
The Chorus Boy Chronicles: A Bandit, Full and Hollow
by Brian Spitulnik (2/9/2012)
POPULAR
In Which I Fix My Girlfriend’s Grandparents’ WiFi and Am Hailed as a Conquering Heroby Mike Lacher (1/20/2012)
Monologue: I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
by Mike Lacher (6/15/2010)
On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Compactor
by Joshua Tyree (1/10/2002)