GENTRIFICATION
OF POPULAR
RAP LYRICS.
By Cougar Moxley
Would the women please be so kind as to vacate the premises?
The velocity of my hand is likely to cause a chain reaction that resembles the toppling of ivory game pieces stacked one after another.
If your wife has assumed sexual relations with me, then it is probably best you consult her on the matter.
I am not the particular African-American you should be aggressive toward.
My expenditures this fiscal year are of such magnitude they are best expressed as a metaphor involving a corpulent female.
My enemies and narcotics are similarly compressed into a fine powder, which I regularly ingest to achieve intoxication.
Regardless of the fact that you possess both a marijuana cigarette and a low-caliber pistol, there is still a high likelihood that my airborne projectile will cause irreparable damage to your medulla oblongata.
ALTERNATIVE PUNISHMENTS
FOR THE MONKEY,
SEEING AS HOW
SPANKING IS CRUEL.
By Rob Sears
Hide fez
Shave, tar, feather, taunt
Fill cage with wax bananas, then eat real bananas really slowly
Make it type _non_randomly for a change
Stroke against the nap
Waggle opposable thumbs in view of cage
“BEFORE-AND-AFTER” PUZZLES
DEEMED UNSUITABLE FOR USE
BY THE PRODUCERS OF
WHEEL OF FORTUNE.
By Steve Krodman
Nuclear Winter Wonderland
Olympic Village Idiot
Banana Nut Sack
Plumber’s Crack Whore
Vanna White Supremacist
