Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Kapitoil and The Love Song of Jonny Valentine.
BY TEDDY WAYNE
Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration—ugh, you’re disgusting, take a shower first, I don’t care if you’re a so-called genius or whatever, before you hug me you have to—ohhhh, I see now, you’ve invented a way to cause world peace when you hug me while soaked in sweat. Brilliant. Sorry I doubted you.
SUGGESTED READSHow to Make Your Own Proverbs
by Russell Bradbury-Carlin (1/8/2004)
List: Rethinking Horse Proverbs
by Joseph O'Brien (5/3/2004)
Obscure Chinese Proverbs
by Dennis Mahoney (11/9/2004)
RECENTLYButterball Help-Line Help-Line
by Alysia Gray Painter (11/26/2014)
List: Pardoned Turkeys: Where Are They Now?
by Tom O'Donnell (11/26/2014)
Recipes for a Fun-Filled Thanksgiving
by Molly Schoemann (11/26/2014)
POPULARIt’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2014)
Why You Should Not Have Broken Up With Me, According to Various Critical Theories
by Tommy Wallach (11/3/2014)
The Boy from Jurassic Park’s College Application Essay
by Julia Drake (11/12/2014)