Send your list submissions to email@example.com.
Guide to Determine If You Are in a Jerry Bruckheimer Movie.
1. Your girlfriend is a waitress, but could be a model.
2. A bus explodes.
3. A psychopathic millionaire devises an elaborate plan to murder you or someone you know …
4. … and you feel compelled to stop it.
5. You are Nicholas Cage.
6. Despite a total lack of training, you are able to shoot and fight with the accuracy and ability of a special-forces soldier.
7. You are a cop or scientist, but could be a model.
8. A building explodes.
9. After capturing you, a terrorist with a foreign accent reveals the details of his plot in a long-winded speech.
10. The light always hits your face in just the right way.
11. You are in a shootout on the streets of a major city …
12. … and it involves helicopters and rocket launchers.
13. Everyone around you is a model.
14. Teams of well-trained henchmen are shooting at you, but they all miss.
15. You are engaged in a knockdown-dragout brawl with the leader of a major crime organization …
16. … in slow motion.
17. Everything that has not yet exploded explodes.
18. You save the world.
19. Your name is Jack.
SUGGESTED READSSpoilers from the Endings of Future Remakes of the 1970 Film Love Story
by Dustin Kurtz (9/14/2010)
I am the Orson Welles of Powerpoint
by Oyl Miller (9/16/2010)
The Ten Worst Films of 1942; As Reviewed by Ezra Pound Over Italian Radio
by Greg Purcell (2/14/2000)
RECENTLYMorgan and Jeff’s Divorce Party Invitation
by Blythe Roberson (3/7/2014)
List: The University’s Pre-Spring Break Lecture Series
by Paul Gaszak (3/7/2014)
Dispatches from Iceland: Stykkisholmur: Eating the Pylsur of Heaven, Part One
by Kurt Caswell (3/7/2014)
POPULARSon, It’s Time We Talk About Where Start-Ups Come From
by Marco Kaye (2/4/2014)
Kama Sutra for Couples Who Have Been Dating for Over Three Years
by Chelsea Davison (1/15/2014)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to Men On the Subway, Specifically During Morning Rush Hour On the A Train Between Jay Street and Canal
by Jenna Clark Embrey (2/21/2014)