Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Guide to Determine If You Are in a Jerry Bruckheimer Movie.
1. Your girlfriend is a waitress, but could be a model.
2. A bus explodes.
3. A psychopathic millionaire devises an elaborate plan to murder you or someone you know …
4. … and you feel compelled to stop it.
5. You are Nicholas Cage.
6. Despite a total lack of training, you are able to shoot and fight with the accuracy and ability of a special-forces soldier.
7. You are a cop or scientist, but could be a model.
8. A building explodes.
9. After capturing you, a terrorist with a foreign accent reveals the details of his plot in a long-winded speech.
10. The light always hits your face in just the right way.
11. You are in a shootout on the streets of a major city …
12. … and it involves helicopters and rocket launchers.
13. Everyone around you is a model.
14. Teams of well-trained henchmen are shooting at you, but they all miss.
15. You are engaged in a knockdown-dragout brawl with the leader of a major crime organization …
16. … in slow motion.
17. Everything that has not yet exploded explodes.
18. You save the world.
19. Your name is Jack.
SUGGESTED READSSpoilers from the Endings of Future Remakes of the 1970 Film Love Story
by Dustin Kurtz (9/14/2010)
I am the Orson Welles of Powerpoint
by Oyl Miller (9/16/2010)
The Ten Worst Films of 1942; As Reviewed by Ezra Pound Over Italian Radio
by Greg Purcell (2/14/2000)
RECENTLYThe Man With the Yellow Hat Goes to Therapy
by Devorah Blachor (4/16/2014)
Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: A Former Methadone Clinic Counselor
by Suzanne Yeagley (4/16/2014)
List: Other Individuals Who Were at the Copacabana the Night That Rico Shot Tony (or Vice Versa), But Whose Presence Was Apparently Not Significant Enough to Warrant Inclusion in Barry Manilow’s Song
by Gary M. Almeter (4/16/2014)