Send your list submissions to email@example.com.
Guide to Determine If You Are in a Jerry Bruckheimer Movie.
1. Your girlfriend is a waitress, but could be a model.
2. A bus explodes.
3. A psychopathic millionaire devises an elaborate plan to murder you or someone you know …
4. … and you feel compelled to stop it.
5. You are Nicholas Cage.
6. Despite a total lack of training, you are able to shoot and fight with the accuracy and ability of a special-forces soldier.
7. You are a cop or scientist, but could be a model.
8. A building explodes.
9. After capturing you, a terrorist with a foreign accent reveals the details of his plot in a long-winded speech.
10. The light always hits your face in just the right way.
11. You are in a shootout on the streets of a major city …
12. … and it involves helicopters and rocket launchers.
13. Everyone around you is a model.
14. Teams of well-trained henchmen are shooting at you, but they all miss.
15. You are engaged in a knockdown-dragout brawl with the leader of a major crime organization …
16. … in slow motion.
17. Everything that has not yet exploded explodes.
18. You save the world.
19. Your name is Jack.
SUGGESTED READSSpoilers from the Endings of Future Remakes of the 1970 Film Love Story
by Dustin Kurtz (9/14/2010)
Those Heady Days Are Behind Us Now: A Review of Bicentennial Man
by Paul Maliszewski (1/24/2000)
I am the Orson Welles of Powerpoint
by Oyl Miller (9/16/2010)
RECENTLYBlack Friday Special: Common Retail Questions Answered With Deeper Questions
by Kate Hahn (11/28/2014)
The First Black Friday, by William Bradford
by River Clegg (11/28/2014)
List: “Must-Haves” for the Holiday Season
by Aubrey Cloutier (11/28/2014)
POPULARWhy You Should Not Have Broken Up With Me, According to Various Critical Theories
by Tommy Wallach (11/3/2014)
It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2014)
The Boy from Jurassic Park’s College Application Essay
by Julia Drake (11/12/2014)