Highlights of the 2004-2005 NHL Season.
Scott Walker of the Nashville Predators returns home from his dental check-up cavity-free.
New York Islander Alexei Yashin completes his course work for “How to Become a Master Communicator” at the New York City Learning Annex.
Atlanta Thrashers’ points leader Ilya Kovalchuk hits eight straight green lights on his way to his library’s once-monthly used-book sale.
Los Angeles King goalie Roman Cechmanek stops 31 shots on goal in a 2-0 shutout victory over his Internet nemesis “dHasek4evah” in an online game of EA Sports’ NHL 2005.
Rod Brind’Amour of the Carolina Hurricanes makes it through dinner with his parents without either of them spitting food into their napkins.
For being the 14th caller into KISS 106 FM, Dallas Stars captain Mike Modano wins a copy of Kelly Clarkson’s new CD Breakaway.
Pat Quinn, coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs, gets a great sweater from his wife for Christmas.
Despite not having his receipt, the Buffalo Sabres’ Miroslav Satan successfully returns a snowblower to Home Depot for a full refund.
Detroit Red Wing star Steve Yzerman finally feels confident about his resolution to become a vegan.
Trevor Letowski of the Columbus Blue Jackets arrives at Blockbuster in time to rent the last available copy of Without a Paddle.
Casey Poapst, the 9-year-old son of Chicago Blackhawk defenseman Steve Poapst, tells his father he wants to be a dancer when he grows up.
Boston Bruin center Joe Thornton watches an episode of 24 and becomes transfixed by the enigmatic beauty of star Shohreh Aghdashloo.
Commissioner Gary Bettman finds that there are more rolls of paper towels in the garage. He feared he was out.
By getting his fifth friend to sign up for an online promotional offer, the Phoenix Coyotes’ Peter Nedved earns himself a free iPod.
SUGGESTED READSList: Fake Samarian Gods Referenced in the Motion Picture Ghostbusters, or Surnames of Professional Hockey Players
by Jared Young (7/27/2004)
The Philadelphia Flyers Have A Time Machine: Installment Four
by Dave Johnston (4/15/2005)
Laurienzo Peewee Hocky League Disclaimer
by D. Byard Cox (2/6/2004)
RECENTLYI Failed Terribly at Creating an Approachable Down-Home Tone for a Large American Hotel Chain
by Dan Kennedy (7/31/2014)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to Busta Rhymes
by Mike Levine (7/31/2014)
Reviews of New Food
by Various New Food Tasters (7/31/2014)