To solve this week’s Brain Exploder, you need to imagine yourself in a parallel universe where everything is the opposite of our world. In this universe, redheads make up 98 percent of the population, the British drive on the right, Iraq has weapons of mass destruction, women find me attractive, etc. In this universe they have all the same movies and popular songs that we do, only their titles are the word-for-word opposites of the ones we know. For example, in this parallel universe, rock ‘n’ roll pioneer Jerry Lee Lewis bottomed the charts in 1957 with “Fractional Bitta Stirrin’ Comin’ Off.” (If you’re wondering about that third word, think of the way James Bond, in this parallel universe, would prefer his martinis.)
With this principle in mind, your job is to decrypt the following list of titles into their original form. For our purposes here the words “the,” “and,” “by,” and “of” will be considered to have no opposites. I have tried to pick songs and movies that are well known to the general population, with some recent hits as well as some classics.
Send your answers by noon on March 19. The winner of a McSweeney’s book will be chosen at random from the correct responses.
1. Your Slight, Skinny Latin Divorce
2. The Fake Fat Sunny
3. Die and Buy Tool
4. They Shan’t Undergo
5. Gladhanding Bear
6. You Aren’t the Losers
7. Extra Armistices
8. Spring Arrives
9. Slice
10. The Day We Putted New Union Up
11. The Flaccid
12. Sheepish John
13. Pitchwoman
14. Hypothermia
15. Skyshare Night
16. Sit by Yourself
17. Mediocre Cubes of Water
18. Sangfroid Labor
19. Moseyed
20. Clear Valley Fixup
21. North Drive: The Still
22. Sings Without Sheep
23. Boypuker
24. BAKE
25. Newsweek Before Newsweek
26. Indeeding Dale
27. Purple Hovercraft
28. The Thumbsups
29. You Hate Paper, Scissors, Yaw and Pitch
ANSWERS.
Well, the Brain Exploder owes you, the puzzle-solving public, an apology.
Brain Exploder HQ has been undergoing a face-lift of late. New front porch. New back porch. New fence. Fresh coat of paint on the upstairs. Plus, in January, there was a new addition to the BE family, a “Junior Jumble,” if you will. And through all this, the BE has been suffering through dial-up Internet access. Ugh.
None of these are acceptable excuses, however. You have been puzzle-less. Indeed, for over a month you have been without answers to the most recent challenge. Not even bags and bags of paper diapers filled with mealy, mustard-colored feces can excuse that.
First, let me thank David Jaggard once again for his clever puzzle “Intersecting Microcosm.” It was accessible enough that many, many of you enjoyed giving it a whirl, yet so challenging that only two people came up with all twenty-nine answers. Outstanding.
Because the puzzle was so difficult (and because at least a half-dozen of you came up with an oh-so-close twenty-eight of twenty-nine), we will be giving away two prizes this week. For their perfect scores, Doug Johnson and Michael Prerau will each receive a McSweeney’s book.
By far, the most difficult question was number twenty-eight, “The Thumbsups.” Only ten of you, less than 5 percent of all entries, correctly identified “The Birds” as being its “opposite.” So devilishly difficult was that clue, some of you became downright hostile over it. Dan D. guessed “The Stars,” then wrote, "(actually “Yellow” by Coldplay, but you don’t seem to know what an opposite is, so maybe you don’t know that song title, either)." Zing! Hopefully the warmer weather has you in better spirits, Danny. Anyway, congratulations to Yennie Cheung, Matthew Murphy, Justin Thurman, Melissa Culling, Chris Havener, Benjamin Daniels, Thomas Williams, and Ali Fahmy for getting that one right.
Correct answers follow immediately. New puzzle will follow soon.
1. Your Slight, Skinny Latin Divorce
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
2. The Fake Fat Sunny
The Real Slim Shady
3. Die and Buy Tool
Live and Let Die
4. They Shan’t Undergo
We Shall Overcome
5. Gladhanding Bear
Raging Bull
6. You Aren’t the Losers
We Are the Champions
7. Extra Armistices
Star Wars
8. Spring Arrives
Autumn Leaves
9. Slice
Hook
10. The Day We Putted New Union Up
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
11. The Flaccid
The Firm
12. Sheepish John
Proud Mary
13. Pitchwoman
Batman
14. Hypothermia
Fever
15. Skyshare Night
Groundhog Day
16. Sit by Yourself
Stand by Me
17. Mediocre Cubes of Water
Great Balls of Fire
18. Sangfroid Labor
Anger Management
19. Moseyed
Ran
20. Clear Valley Fixup
Foggy Mountain Breakdown
21. North Drive: The Still
South Park: The Movie
22. Sings Without Sheep
Dances With Wolves
23. Boypuker
Maneater
24. BAKE
MASH
25. Newsweek Before Newsweek
Time After Time
26. Indeeding Dale
Notting Hill
27. Purple Hovercraft
Yellow Submarine
28. The Thumbsups
The Birds
29. You Hate Paper, Scissors, Yaw and Pitch
I Love Rock and Roll