Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Jokes Made by Robots,
BY J. ALEX BOYD
[Originally published November 8, 2006.]
A rabbi, an Arab, a robot, and a Catholic priest walk into a bar. Only the robot exits.
A robot walks into a pharmacy. The pharmacist asks him if he’d like anything. The robot replies, “A soul.”
How do you stop a robot from destroying you and the rest of civilization?
“Waiter! Waiter! What’s this robot doing in my soup?”
“It looks like he’s performing human tasks twice as well, because he knows no fear or pain.”
What’s the difference between a regular robot and a killer robot?
The gnawing jeers of men.
What’s a robot’s favorite cereal?
(NOTE: Rob-os are made of the tears of human children.)
Little Susie tosses a clock out the window. A robot inquires, “Why did you do that?” She replies, “I wanted to see time fly!” The robot says, “Ah … A perfect subject for elimination,” and shoots her with a laser beam through the face.
Why did the robot order a milkshake?
To blend in with the general human population, making it easier to infiltrate society and—in time—conquer it.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a robot.
SUGGESTED READSA Robot Performs Standup Comedy To A Lackluster Response
by Michael Drucker (11/5/2007)
by A.J. Packman (5/17/2011)
Jokes by Brian Beatty: Loverboys
by Brian Beatty (1/12/2009)
RECENTLYThe Pagan Origins of Valentine’s Day
by Kathryn Doyle (2/12/2016)
List: Some (More) Things That are Worse Than Being Alone on Valentine’s Day
by Ali Garfinkel (2/12/2016)
Inside Witnesses: One Crime’s Many Narratives: Chris Loses Kevin Outside
by Marti Jonjak (2/12/2016)
POPULARJamie and Jeff’s Note to the Babysitter
by Paul William Davies (1/13/2016)
List: Alternatives to Resting Bitch Face
by Susan Harlan (1/25/2016)
Eight Excuses I Have Told My Son to Use for His Failure to Hand in English Homework, Excuses I Have Learned are Acceptable During a Thirty-Year Career in Journalism, Books, and Film
by Nick Hornby (2/5/2016)