Send your list submissions to email@example.com.
Jokes Made by Robots, for Robots.
BY J. Alex Boyd
A rabbi, an Arab, a robot, and a Catholic priest walk into a bar. Only the robot exits.
A robot walks into a pharmacy. The pharmacist asks him if he’d like anything. The robot replies, “A soul.”
How do you stop a robot from destroying you and the rest of civilization?
“Waiter! Waiter! What’s this robot doing in my soup?”
“It looks like he’s performing human tasks twice as well, because he knows no fear or pain.”
What’s the difference between a regular robot and a killer robot?
The gnawing jeers of men.
What’s a robot’s favorite cereal?
(Note: Rob-os are made of the tears of human children.)
Little Susie tosses a clock out the window. A robot inquires, “Why did you do that?” She replies, “I wanted to see time fly!” The robot says, “Ah … A perfect subject for elimination,” and shoots her with a laser beam through the face.
Why did the robot order a milkshake?
To blend in with the general human population, making it easier to infiltrate society and—in time—conquer it.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a robot.
SUGGESTED READSTechnology Jokes
by A.J. Packman (5/17/2011)
A Robot Performs Standup Comedy To A Lackluster Response
by Michael Drucker (11/5/2007)
Jokes by Brian Beatty: Loverboys
by Brian Beatty (1/12/2009)
RECENTLYSenior Year is Totally Gonna Rule Because After That My Life is Going to Be an Endless Abyss of Longing!
by Lane Moore (5/24/2013)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Hot Canadian Zumba Teacher Who Pulled Me Onstage After My Mother Died
by Christine Schrum (5/24/2013)
The 49ers: Oral Histories of Americans Facing 50: The 49ers, #119: Kathryn Harrison
by Rob Trucks (5/24/2013)
POPULARI Would Like to Be Pope
by John Ortved (2/25/2013)
Monologue: I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
by Mike Lacher (6/15/2010)
Nate Silver Offers Up a Statistical Analysis of Your Failing Relationship
by Jory John (2/26/2013)