Send your list submissions to email@example.com.
Jokes Made by Robots, for Robots.
BY J. ALEX BOYD
A rabbi, an Arab, a robot, and a Catholic priest walk into a bar. Only the robot exits.
A robot walks into a pharmacy. The pharmacist asks him if he’d like anything. The robot replies, “A soul.”
How do you stop a robot from destroying you and the rest of civilization?
“Waiter! Waiter! What’s this robot doing in my soup?”
“It looks like he’s performing human tasks twice as well, because he knows no fear or pain.”
What’s the difference between a regular robot and a killer robot?
The gnawing jeers of men.
What’s a robot’s favorite cereal?
(Note: Rob-os are made of the tears of human children.)
Little Susie tosses a clock out the window. A robot inquires, “Why did you do that?” She replies, “I wanted to see time fly!” The robot says, “Ah … A perfect subject for elimination,” and shoots her with a laser beam through the face.
Why did the robot order a milkshake?
To blend in with the general human population, making it easier to infiltrate society and—in time—conquer it.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a robot.
SUGGESTED READSA Robot Performs Standup Comedy To A Lackluster Response
by Michael Drucker (11/5/2007)
by A.J. Packman (5/17/2011)
A Memo to Investors in 11D Technologies, Inc
by Michael Ward (3/19/2013)
RECENTLYHitler Dinner Party: A Play
by Bob Odenkirk (9/30/2014)
List: Here Are Some Fucking Barefoot Contessa Cookbook Titles
by Micah Osler (9/30/2014)
Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Zhanna Slor: Dying Isn’t Cheap
by Suzanne Yeagley (9/30/2014)
POPULARIt’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2014)
A Generic College Paper
by Jon Wu (9/19/2014)
My Grading Scale for the Fall Semester, Composed Entirely of Samuel Beckett Quotes
by Matt Bell (8/31/2012)