Keeping It in the Family (“It” Being Work): A One-Part Series on America’s Least-Worrisome Instances of Nepotism.
BY William Ham
Robert L. Talbot, Sr., commuter-rail conductor, Wilmette, IL: got his second cousin, “Terry,”* a summer job punching tickets on the Metra Commuter Rail System of Northeast Illinois; let him wear “the good hat.”
Sandy Damson, assistant manager, Hill O’ Beans coffee house, Cambridge, WI: hired cousin, “Tina,” to help with the lunchtime rush; once saw her take a quarter out of the tip jar to complete payment on the washing of a load of laundry; didn’t say anything.
Paul Kowalczyk, used-computer-parts retailer, Leftover Bytes, Northampton, MA: put stepbrother, “Eric,” to work doing inventory at end of fiscal quarter; alleged to have said on one occasion, “Sure, you can take off five minutes early today. Just don’t tell anybody [italics mine].”
Gary Bancroft, homeless vagrant, Philadelphia, PA: gave his brother-in-law, “Billy Taylor,” a 64-oz. plastic commemorative NBA cup (1987 vintage) from Burger King, a receptacle widely considered to hold much more change than the 16-oz. paper cups favored by their fellow panhandlers.
Giuseppe Bellini, owner/operator, Bellini Family Pizza and Subs, Pawtucket, RI: concurrently staffed restaurant with brother, “Gino”; wife, “Angie”; son, “Giuseppe, Jr.,” aka “Joey”; three (3) daughters, “Maria,” “Concetta,” and “Teresa”; four (4) nephews, “Dominic,” “Tony,” “Paolo,” and “Tony”; and son-in-law, “Tommy” — all of whom are related to him.
Next Week: something else, unrelated to this.
*Certain names have quotation marks placed around them to make it look as if they’ve been changed.
SUGGESTED READSI See These People Walking Down My Alley Almost Every Single Day
by Ned Peets (1/12/2000)
by Sloan Schang (10/18/2010)
Four Under Twenty Whom You Need Not Watch.
by Dan Kennedy (12/12/2001)
RECENTLYAlbert Camus, Creative Writing Instructor
by David Galef (5/22/2013)
List: Captive Audience SEO
by Edward Fairchild and Jake Swearingen (5/22/2013)
Teddy Wayne’s Unpopular Proverbs: Coincidence
by Teddy Wayne (5/22/2013)
POPULARI Would Like to Be Pope
by John Ortved (2/25/2013)
Monologue: I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
by Mike Lacher (6/15/2010)
Nate Silver Offers Up a Statistical Analysis of Your Failing Relationship
by Jory John (2/26/2013)