Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Leonard Cohen’s Seven Immutable Laws of Business.
One: If it seems like it’s too heavy, it is too heavy—unless it’s your brother, in which case, he ain’t too heavy.
Two: If the rain is flowing like tears from the sky, call in sick—it’s cool.
Three: There’s nothing you can do behind your desk that can’t be more effectively accomplished with a beautiful, long-haired, chain-smoking woman lying naked next to you in bed.
Four: It really is a good idea to import tea and oranges all the way from China—especially the way the world is going these days.
Five: Scrap all the words like “maximize,” “incentivize,” “amortize,” “enhance,” “enable,” and “team-building” from your vocabulary and replace them with “sorrow.”
Six: Suits are cool, as long as you wear them without shoes or socks.
Seven: Yearning, that’s the ticket. Yearning and heartache. Yearning and heartache and longing and—well, you get it.
SUGGESTED READSSean Michaels Listens to Music in Montreal: Reflections on Seeing Leonard Cohen Perform in Montreal on June 23, 2008
by Sean Michaels (8/23/2008)
Let’s Listen to My Favorite Song Together
by Joe Berkowitz (9/13/2010)
Do They Know It’s Christmas After All?
by Henry Alford (1/4/2000)
RECENTLY“The Crown Will Find an Heir”: A Shakespearean Guide to the 2016 Democratic Primary
by Emily Uecker (10/13/2015)
Inside Witnesses: One Crime’s Many Narratives
by Marti Jonjak (10/13/2015)
Monologue: A Leaf Peeper Shuts His Eyes
by Matt Seidel (10/13/2015)
POPULARIt’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2015)
List: Nihilistic Password Security Questions
by Soheil Rezayazdi (10/2/2015)
Facepalm Pilot: Where Technology Meets Stupidity: An Interactive Guide to Ambiguous Grammar
by Vijith Assar (9/3/2015)