Send your list submissions to email@example.com.
Leonard Cohen’s Seven Immutable Laws of Business.
One: If it seems like it’s too heavy, it is too heavy—unless it’s your brother, in which case, he ain’t too heavy.
Two: If the rain is flowing like tears from the sky, call in sick—it’s cool.
Three: There’s nothing you can do behind your desk that can’t be more effectively accomplished with a beautiful, long-haired, chain-smoking woman lying naked next to you in bed.
Four: It really is a good idea to import tea and oranges all the way from China—especially the way the world is going these days.
Five: Scrap all the words like “maximize,” “incentivize,” “amortize,” “enhance,” “enable,” and “team-building” from your vocabulary and replace them with “sorrow.”
Six: Suits are cool, as long as you wear them without shoes or socks.
Seven: Yearning, that’s the ticket. Yearning and heartache. Yearning and heartache and longing and—well, you get it.
SUGGESTED READSSean Michaels Listens to Music in Montreal: Reflections on Seeing Leonard Cohen Perform in Montreal on June 23, 2008
by Sean Michaels (8/23/2008)
Let’s Listen to My Favorite Song Together
by Joe Berkowitz (9/13/2010)
Do They Know It’s Christmas After All?
by Henry Alford (1/4/2000)
RECENTLYSentient Cloud of Poisonous Gas Seeks Companion
by Sam Shelstad (2/27/2015)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to Women Who Shame Catcalling
by Wendy Litner (2/27/2015)
List: Existentialist Quotes for Social Media Platforms
by Jim Sabataso (2/27/2015)
POPULARReasons You Were Not Promoted That are Totally Unrelated to Gender
by Homa Mojtabai (1/27/2015)
List: What a Straight Man’s Favorite Musical Says About Him
by Mara Wilson (2/10/2015)
Jamie and Jeff’s Birth Plan
by Paul William Davies (12/26/2012)