Why did the Marxist-Socialist cross the road?
To get to the Marxist-Socialist sit-in on the other side of the road.
How many Marxist-Socialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb, one to lament Milton Friedman’s laissez-faire economic policies.
A Marxist-Socialist walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he’s unionized.
A Marxist-Socialist who?
A Marxist-Socialist who wants to give you a pamphlet about class struggle.
What did one Marxist-Socialist say to another?
Like you, I also advocate a proletarian revolution culminating in collective ownership.
What do you get when you cross a Marxist with a Socialist?
Two people who generally feel that the value of a commodity is equal to its socially necessary labor time.
What’s the difference between a Marxist-Socialist and a Keynesian economist?
Several things, including but not limited to the following: The Marxist-Socialist believes that workers should own the means of production, whereas Keynesians support the private ownership over the means of production. Marxist-Socialists believe that centralized government would ultimately wither away after a revolution, whereas Keynesians advocate greater government action to ensure full societal employment. Finally, a Marxist-Socialist would not be invited to a party that a Keynesian was throwing at work because the Keynesian knows that the Marxist-Socialist would throw a stink about the way the cubicles in the Keynesian’s office were arranged.
How do you get a one-armed Marxist-Socialist out of a tree?
Ask two teamsters to drive three AFL-CIO riggers each carrying an IAFF approved ladder to the tree and help the one-armed Marxist-Socialist down.
The Marxist-Socialist’s mother is so fat, that when the Marxist-Socialist’s mother laments stagflation, she actually stagflates.
A Priest, a Rabbi and a Marxist-Socialist are in an airplane that is going to crash and there are only two parachutes. The Priest says, “I have always followed the word of Jesus, so I should have one of the parachutes.” The Rabbi says, “I paid for the plane rental, so I should also have one of the parachutes.” The Marxist-Socialist says, “I would normally advocate allocating these out according to one’s means, but I’m afraid of dying and would like one of the chutes, please.”
SUGGESTED READSKarl Marx and Laetitia Casta: A Comparative Timeline
by Gustavo P. Secchi (4/13/2000)
Suggested Scenarios for Howie Mandel’s Howie Do It
by Benjamin Kumming (2/18/2009)
Prominent Philosophers’ GRE Essay Prompts
by Evan Waterman (2/17/2015)
RECENTLYThis Product May Cause Cancer in California
by Eileen Consedine (3/30/2015)
Hungover Bear and Friends: Give Me a Sign
by Ali Fitzgerald (3/30/2015)
List: Sit-Com Spin-Offs from Ingmar Bergman Films
by Dale Shaw (3/30/2015)
POPULARAn Honest College Rejection Letter
by Mimi Evans (3/26/2015)
List: What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You
by John Peck (7/5/2011)
Reasons You Were Not Promoted That are Totally Unrelated to Gender
by Homa Mojtabai (1/27/2015)