Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Kapitoil and The Love Song of Jonny Valentine.
BY TEDDY WAYNE
Money doesn’t grow on trees… wait, it sort of does, because it’s paper, which is from trees, and… right? I’m not overlooking some basic step of production here, or that there’s a new treeless paper out there? God, I know so little about how the world actually works, like how does a telephone work or a car engine or a faucet or—okay, I just looked it up, and so-called “paper” money is actually a combination of cotton and linen fibers. So it doesn’t grow on trees, it grows from the ground. That’s where cotton and linen come from, I’m pretty sure.
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