New State Names Resulting From the Coming Wave of Mergers and Acquisitions

Bad Names for Hamsters

If You Wanted to Join Match.Com to Meet Girls and You Wanted to Impress Those Girls by Selecting a Username That Cleverly References a Literary Character, You Couldn’t Choose Any of These Because They Are Already Taken

Appropriate Names for Pets

Non-Essential Mnemonics: "How about a nice mocha. Or… ummmm… what is White Macchiato? Sounds delicious. No? Dangit. Cappuccino… no… no. What’s Vanilla Kreme? Oh. Maybe caramel with iced tea for my Anch Marcy? My aunt I mean. I like organic teas—kiwi… vanilla… raspbe

Acknowledgments Page for the Email I Put Off for Seven Weeks and Finally Sent

Comic Book Onomatopoeia and Their Real-World Counterparts

In Retrospect, Hiring Macbeth as Our Tinned Soup Ambassador Was a Bad Idea

Family Tours in the Kingdom of the Sick: Golf Course, Lightning