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Objects Found While Bicycling on a County Road in Illinois
BY R.L. Cagle
1. One bottle Jack Daniels, empty.
2. One bottle rocket, large (“Tank”), fired.
3. Three “Fun Size” Snickers bars, unopened.
4. Seven cans Bud Lite, opened, assumed empty (w/box).
5. Three bottles Diet Pepsi, empty.
6. Two bottles Seagram’s Gin, empty.
7. One plastic coffee mug w/lid.
8. One Trojan “Shared Sensation” Condom (in wrapper, unopened).
9. One package (1/4 lb) ground beef, unopened.
10. One common grackle, deceased. (Broken neck?)
11. One item, unidentified. (Artificial hair?)
12. One paper cup, large (marked “Big Gulp”).
13. One copy, Summer Sale Sensation catalogue for plus-sized women.
14. One package, EPT Early Pregnancy Test, opened.
15. One package, Oscar Mayer Bacon (1/2 lb. size), empty.
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