Assignment to the women’s dormitory in college.

Toughened up by regular beatings as a child.

Thanks to registration fraud, coed softball team is stacked.

Actually getting selected off the backstage list to meet the band.

Direct-mail marketing from lingerie companies.

Nobody suspects you’re the jerk parked in the handicapped spot when name is announced over the supermarket P.A.

Weaseling out of the Selective Service.

Scoring an interview down at Legs Legs Legs strip club.

Oratorical skills improved by daily speech explaining how, in Ireland, there are lots of men named Kelly.