Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Kapitoil and The Love Song of Jonny Valentine.
BY TEDDY WAYNE
When God closes a door, he opens a window, one just high enough to hurl yourself from and finally put an end to your intractable credit-card-debt problem.
SUGGESTED READSTeddy Wayne’s Unpopular Proverbs: Opportunity II
by Teddy Wayne (5/31/2013)
How to Make Your Own Proverbs
by Russell Bradbury-Carlin (1/8/2004)
List: Rethinking Horse Proverbs
by Joseph O'Brien (5/3/2004)
RECENTLYPlease Let Me Put My Disease-Riddled Hands All Over Your Baby!
by Jeremy Blachman (9/15/2014)
Speaking for All Christians Exactly Like Me: Ten Thousand Zombies in Bonnets
by Jordan Jeffers (9/15/2014)
List: Other Things Sheena Easton’s Baby Takes in Addition to the Morning Train
by Gary M. Almeter (9/15/2014)
POPULARA Post Gender Normative Man Tries to Pick Up a Woman at a Bar
by Jesse Eisenberg (12/28/2011)
Hello Stranger On the Street, Could You Please Tell Me How to Take Care of My Baby?
by Wendy Molyneux (8/16/2012)
Classic Movies Changed to Not Be Sexist
by Blythe Roberson (8/14/2014)