Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
BY Chris Wang
Pay toll collector in pennies.
Hide road signs from others.
Yield, but in a manner that suggests that you are being highly inconvenienced.
Stop for yellow lights.
Yield to pedestrians, infuriating motorists.
Roll down window, tell pedestrians you stop for that you admire their efforts to lose weight.
Refuse to pass cyclists.
Refuse to yield to cyclists.
Refuse to RSVP cyclists.
Hazard lights on all the time.
Stop and get out of car to read road signs you haven’t stolen.
Adhere bumper sticker to back of car that complains of everyone else’s driving.
Flatten own tire.
Drive at the speed limit.
SUGGESTED READSThe Lost 28th Chapter of Leviticus Explains the Rules for Riding Shotgun
by Steve Etheridge (8/1/2008)
Q&A With the Head of My Carpool
by Jon Methven (11/11/2008)
Top Ten Most Censored Press Release of 1998. No. 4
by McSweeney's Editors (5/12/1999)
RECENTLYVinny’s Joke Consignment and Pawn Shop
by Thomas Scott (4/23/2014)
Testomania: How Rational Are You?
by Janet Manley (4/23/2014)
Jeff Really Hit It Off With the Neighbors When He Rented a Place On Airbnb
by Bob Powers (4/22/2014)