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Pickup Lines Used by Mario.
“Are you a magic feather? Because my heart just grew a tail, and flew away.”
“If you were a warp tube, I’d be in you all day.”
“Are you a magic mushroom? Because you are making me grow.”
“Are you a magic flower? Because you are burning me up.”
“I’d rather ride you than Yoshi any day.”
“If Princess Toad looked liked you, I would have killed Bowser years ago.”
“If I had the choice, I would gladly spend my 100 coins on you instead of on an extra life.”
“You don’t have to turn on a game to play with me.”
“They don’t call me Super for nothing.”
SUGGESTED READSList: Life Lessons (a.k.a. Tips From the Mario Brothers Instruction Booklet)
by Sue Marucci (7/29/2004)
List: 7 Things Mario Games Have in Common With the Bible
by Jake Ardoin (4/1/2010)
Monologue: Wario Gives an Account of a Mario Kart Race for Strangers at a Bar
by Charlie Nadler (9/26/2006)
RECENTLYSenior Year is Totally Gonna Rule Because After That My Life is Going to Be an Endless Abyss of Longing!
by Lane Moore (5/24/2013)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Hot Canadian Zumba Teacher Who Pulled Me Onstage After My Mother Died
by Christine Schrum (5/24/2013)
The 49ers: Oral Histories of Americans Facing 50: The 49ers, #119: Kathryn Harrison
by Rob Trucks (5/24/2013)
POPULARI Would Like to Be Pope
by John Ortved (2/25/2013)
Monologue: I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
by Mike Lacher (6/15/2010)
Nate Silver Offers Up a Statistical Analysis of Your Failing Relationship
by Jory John (2/26/2013)