“#2 Grandpa”

“I failed to survive Smokin’ Joe’s Five-Alarm Chili Pit”

“Ask Me About Nudism”

“My mom attended the Mechanicsburg, PA, Quilt Fair and was thoughtful enough to buy me this souvenir, which I cherish.”

“I’m with that guy to my left … no, sorry, one more over … yeah, that’s him.”

Time Magazine: Man of the Year” featuring novelty-shirt-booth employee