[Originally published January 28, 2002.]

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“Ooh, a banana. Toss it over.”

“I used to be mad at the bells.”

“They’re always jumping out of planes. I wish they would jump on me.”

“I could stand up on my desk, set it on fire, and yell at the top of my lungs. But what would that prove?”

“Don’t make me buoyant. You wouldn’t like me when I’m buoyant.”

“The concrescence is an actualization prehended as continual perishing and continuity of being. So no, the horse wouldn’t matter.”

“Yes, but Jesus wasn’t nailed to a block of cheese, was he?”