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Random Book Dedications Read From the Bargain Bin.
Gothic Birdhouses, Feeders and Baths
“This book is dedicated to my children, Robin and Jay, who, like little birds, will soon spread their wings and fly, fly away. May you soar unshackled away, away. Fear not the hunter’s blast.”
The Moldova Lonely Planet Hiking Guide
“My dear Brendan, upon every hillock, atop every spire, below the darkened skies, your image was my faithful companion during my long journey into this Bessarabia. It was, indeed, the most faithful you’ve ever been.”
The Unauthorized Rod Steiger Companion
“Ahh! Peerless and misconstrued, inimitable Rod Steiger. You were the contender, you were the heat of the night, you made Amityville much less horrible. Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry, for surely God will take you out in his surrey. Oh yes, my friend, the one with the fringe on top. "
Telephone Triage Protocols for Nursing Assistants
“To the family of Steven Hofford, words cannot express my deepest regret. Please accept this training manual as proof that I will not rest until every nursing assistant understands that patients rarely make jokes about life-threatening emergencies over the telephone.”
Housebreaking for Sugar Gliders
“Sara. Tiny packages often contain great love. Tiny packages sometimes leak their contents upon the rug of life. Tiny packages rarely withstand angry feet. I forgive you.”
Buying and Restoring Vintage Arcade Games
“This book is dedicated to Ricky Schroeder. You had it all on Silver Spoons, but could you beat Tempest without using the super-zapper? I think not. Too much time on that little train, it seems. Ride your little train, Ricky. Ride that little train to hell.”
SUGGESTED READSActual Reviews Posted on amazon.com by Me, in Utter Slack-Jawed Ignorance of the Books Involved, and with Grammatical Errors Intact
by Tim Church (2/7/2000)
In Search of the Red Planet
by Paul Maliszewski (3/3/2000)
Are You There God? It’s Me, Ernest
by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio (9/28/2010)
RECENTLYNotes on Your Banner Ad Copy for Medicated Wipes
by Jeff Johnson (7/24/2014)
My Own Private Shock Corridor: My Own Private Shock Corridor.
by Bob Schneider (7/24/2014)
List: Eminem Lyric or Line of Lesbian Poetry?
by Sascha Cohen (7/24/2014)
POPULAROur Band Only Sold One Copy of Our Album and We’d Like it Back
by Jake Tuck (6/26/2014)
List: Lines from The Princess Bride that Double as Comments on Freshman Composition Papers
by Jennifer Simonson (2/23/2012)
Client Feedback On the Creation of the Earth
by Mike Lacher (5/30/2014)