Stevie,
There is a 20 between the baloney and cheese. Score me a liter of bourbon on the way home from school and there’ll be another 20 in tomorrow’s lunch.
Love,
Mom
P.S. Don’t mention a word of this to Dad.
Katie,
Can you find out if your new bus driver is single? Damn, he’s got some ass!
Love,
Mom
Ted,
I had a brief fling with your math teacher, Mr. Kolter. But don’t let on. K?
Love,
Mom
Veronica,
Just for kicks see if you can use the term “bitch-slapped”—in context—during home ec this afternoon.
Love,
Mom
Derek,
I agree with you that Ralph from Weston Drive is a fat moron, but he’s much bigger than you. How ’bout tonight—late tonight—you and I sneak out and pour sugar in the gas tank of that Lexus his daddy gave him?
Love,
Mom
Stanley,
Any more of that Dungeons & Dragons crap and I’ll drive down there and kick your ass for the whole school to see. Got it?
Love,
Mom